Reflections from a Walkout

As the discussion heated up about the big walkout this week, our students had not said a word.  I was worried that they were apathetic and didn't care but the afternoon before the 14th, they finally spoke up and wanted to participate.  We had a lot going on that morning but we made an open invitation for those who wanted to walk out may do so.  I allowed them the area around the flagpole to gather.  Our local police department stood by to observe and they came out in far greater numbers than I expected.

I would say nearly 200 students came out and gathered around in a circle and stood silently for 17 minutes.  Some prayed, others just stood but all of them were still and did not disrupt any of those 17 minutes.  No signs were made or carried.  No chants were shouted.  They used their time to honor the 17 children that were murdered in Parkland, Florida.

I was very proud of our kids.  There were no politics and the feedback from social media was good.  I felt like they got it.  Even kids from very pro-gun families stood in mourning and prayed.  There are a lot of things that we use as measures of success in schools like test scores or winning teams to name a couple.  The honest reality is that these are the moments you should measure your students by.  If you can have a school year in which your students show tremendous heart and concern for others, you have a good school.  Our kids have stepped up many times this year and made me proud.

I woke up the next morning to find a comment added to the school's Facebook post.  To paraphrase he posted that we were indoctrinating these kids and that they knew nothing of the second amendment.  I knew this man personally and we had even worked together at my previous district.  I deleted his comment and messaged him privately to contact me directly if he had a concern about the activity and to not call out my students.  I did not hear back from him.

This commenter does not understand what I have come to know over all these years.  Kids are way better people than we give them credit for.  They absolutely frustrate us as we work to mold them but their moral compass is always good.  As I was saddened at the comment that was left, my wife sent me a post from one of our students that made my day.  A seventh grader from my building made the post below and I really hope people took note that he is one of many kids that just want peace for their fellow students.  My kids were not there to prove a political point.  They were there to honor and mourn.  Misguided adults are painting the nation's youth as too naive to understand the situation, but trust me they do.

Too often our "leaders" try to solve problems without the advice of those affected the most.  If I have learned anything in recent weeks its that it is time for policy makers to listen to the kids that are living this horrible reality of their time.  They may not be able to vote today, but it won't be long until they can.  This is not just the millennial generation it is also the era of the school shooting and it is the most unique time in our nation's history.  They will have their time to lead this nation but please don't count them out today because they are young.  They will always bring us grown ups back to where we know we should be.

You Are What You Celebrate

I had the opportunity to attend a very special event this week.  Our BETA Club went to their annual state convention in Springfield and man did they impress.  They entered in 25 competitions and placed in 13.  Of those 13, seven were first place winners.  This was the best state convention that we can rememeber and their trip to nationals in June appears to be very promising.  My daughter has been a BETA both years in junior high and it has been a very rewarding experience for her.  She has created lasting memories and learned what it takes to meet high expectations.  Our students truly are preparing themselves for sucess.  On a side note, our kids are some of the best behaved students there each year I have attended.

I found myself as excited as the kids were about their triumphs.  I had flashbacks of when I was a YMCA Youth & Government sponsor at Mt. Vernon and Elverado.  I remember fondly not only being a very successful delegation but also communicating how important it was to our students that they perform at a high level and put themselves on the map at every turn.  Our BETA Club has been successful over the years but not like this.  They got the full experience of being the school that everyone was looking at and wanting to know more about.  I was very proud and quickly took to the bus to tell them that before we left.  I also had to post about it on social media to tell the world how these kids made their community proud and represented them well on a large stage.  The comments and feedback were great and you could feel that community pride with each conversation.

I have no problem celbrating our kids.  What I have loved about our BETA Club is that every kid that is selected understands that they are expected to compete at a high level and add plaques to the wall when they get home.  Having high expectations and helping kids acheive to their fullest potential should be the mission of every school.   When that mission is executed, we have to celebrate our kids so it will perpetuate itself.

Let's use that word with caution.  Celebrating is great if you celebrate the right things.  You are what you celebrate.  If you celebrate mediocrity, that's what you will get.  If you celebrate reaching a low level goals repeatedly, there will be no motivation to go further.  You are what you celebrate.  I often have a lot of conversations about school climate with fellow admins and I usually take a quick peek at their social media pages to see what they celebrate.  Those school leaders that report that their schools feel uninspired, usually have very dull websites and social media pages.  I always challenge them to tell their stories on social media.  They might be uncomfortable with doing that but our families love to see that our schools are dynamic learning spaces that are growing students.  Social media is a great venue to celebrate who you are.

It was an absolute treat to travel with our BETA Club as a parent helper.  I would like to give a big shout out to our sponsors and kids for making their community proud but also for having high expectations.  We celebrate high expectations all the time and remember, you are what you celebrate.

Our Special Talent dancers saying a prayer backstage before competing in the finals.  They took first place in the event.

We Have a Heart Problem

I'm sure I will be one of millions that post a blog or editorial about school shootings in the next few days.  After another tragedy, we are scratching our heads again.  The media consensus seems to be that this is the 18th school shooting of 2018 and it is only February.  As I look back over the 16 years I've spent in education, I wonder how we have to gotten to this place in such a short time period.  A place where school and church shootings are common and sometimes don't make the news unless a body count is involved.  So I guess we are in a place where we need to know what direction to go in.

Lets settle some truths before we dive in.  There is not one school that I know of that does not make student safety a priority.  There may be varying degrees and approaches, but we have made active shooter trainings and plans a norm in the school leader toolbox.  It is a sad reality of our profession and to allege that schools are not safe is not true.

Will tighter gun control measures deter the school or church shooter?  Absolutely.  Many of the recent mass shootings have been carried out with an AR-15.  Eliminating the legality of owing an assault rifle will help prevent mass shootings.  This has been proven in many other countries that do not suffer the gun violence that we do.

Do the major social media platforms need to monitor and report this behavior better?  Absolutely.  So many of these incidents are connected to posts on social media that shows the shooter's intent.  To my knowledge, the responsibility to report concerning pictures or posts rests typically with the users.  I will admit that I have not reviewed their policies but it seems to me that with all the filters and algorithms we could catch these posts and they could be directly reported to law enforcement.

I agree that it is not fair to limit the freedoms of many for those "crazies" that commit all these acts of violence, but when that argument is launched with the enthusiasm that it usually does, I feel that the problem is sitting right in front of us and we will not give in and work for the solution.  Our country has a heart problem.  Our nation's priorities do not align with it's greatest needs.

There is no single angle that can be taken to stop school shootings.  It is multi level problem that requires serious diligence by all of us.  We can start by rebuilding our finest American institution.

If we use Columbine (1999) as our starting point for this horrible trend of school and church shootings, a  lot of social issues have shaped our policy making and culture during that time.  The poverty rate has been up and down since that time where we would like to see a downward trend as we go.  As expected, the unemployment rate is also in a sporadic trend.  The point is that last great generation in the country prospered on economic opportunity.  When families struggle economically, they begin to deteriorate.  The economy seems to be a political football and election leverage, but there is a real consequence for not prioritizing it. Along with other social and political changes, the American family is struggling.

Ever hear people talk about the good old days?  Those old stories remind us of what intact families felt like.  No one could even dream of a mass shooting happening in a school or church back in those days because our families were strong and our values wouldn't allow it.  Those were the times when families were strong.  It seems to me that the family unit has become an afterthought.  People seem to place so much more value on things that are far less important.  We complain about the millennial attitude but it is by product of this movement away from valuing family and community.  I have always felt that the family is the heart of our country and right now we have a heart problem.

We can spend a day arguing the merit of the laws passed and where we have went wrong in elections, but we have to begin to focus on rebuilding the American family.  This is multi level task also.  Its a change in policy, attitudes and priorities.  Most importantly, it takes the willingness to put the collective good before the benefit of the small few.  It will not be an overnight process and we will have to make sacrifices.  Its worth it if we want to return to a news cast that doesn't involve shootings, sexual immorality, or crime at every level.  We must fix our country's heart problem if we want to return to the American way.

I spoke to my students a grade level at a time today to help make sense of this mess and and how to be empowered in the event we suffer such an event.  I am 41 years old and I cannot remember my junior high principal needing to have this talk.  My profession has changed profoundly over the years and I hope people know the depth of concern and care we have for our students.  It was difficult to look at the seriousness of their faces today when I spoke.  They do truly care about the lives of their classmates.  It is our job to nurture that caring and help them build strong families.  This is the start to fixing our heart problem.

Your Kid Will Not Be The Next (Fill in the Blank)

I remember when I was in junior high I was a huge Oakland A's fan.  That's right.  I was a west coast fan in the middle of Cardinal/Cub country.  I relied on the newspaper box score and baseball cards to know what was going on with the Bash Brothers.  I always watched the All-Star game and when they were in the series, I was glued to the TV.  You can image my delight when McGuire was traded to the Cardinals.  It's like I was 12 all over again.

The 12 year old experience is far different these days.  Kids are now showered with media from many different directions.  With the internet and improved television coverage, no team is too far away.  My nine year old is even more versed about the NBA (his favorite) that I was ever about baseball.  He gets up and watches Sports Center and his video games bring him very close to the player experience.  He can have an intelligent sports conversation with this 41 year old any day and its kinda cool.

As with all things, you have to take the bad with the good.  The side effect of the sports super star on display is that we get to see every bad angle they have.  Watch this video of Draymond Green:

I obviously do not know the man personally.  He may be a great guy and a pillar in his community.  I have no idea but I know he can be disrespectful to officials in a game.  I can tune that out and watch the game.  Guess who does not have the emotional maturity to do that?  You guessed it, our kids.

I get the pleasure of watching a lot of junior high, and younger, players that have huge attitude problems.  You know the kids I'm talking about.  The ones that are going to be drafted in the first round in 8th grade and they are already sketching what their first shoe line will look like.  They feel they are too big for the game before they even start playing high school sports.

I do get frustrated with these kids but as you may have guessed, I do not fault them for this.  Somewhere in their very young lives, an adult has convinced them that they are good enough to yell at referees, argue with their coaches, disrespect their teammates and embarrass their school.  This adult may have been a parent or a coach, but based on discussions I have with parents and coaches it is always the kid's fault.  It seems easier to assign blame to a child then hold the adults around them accountable.  Now lets cram their brains full of images of pro athletes behaving poorly on and off the court/field.

I think the real problem is that parents want their kids to be the next (fill in the blank).  You know, the next Jordan, Jeter or Elway.  The problem with that thinking is that their kids most always are not going to be those people especially at ten years old.  We are failing our kids when we place too high of expectations on them.  When we tell them they have to play at a certain level or convince them that they are at a certain level is foolish.  That eliminates the opportunity for an adult to grow a player.  That eliminates the possibility that a player will be coach able and humble enough to grow their talents and abilities.  Your kid will not be the next (fill in the blank).  Only they have the power to control that and they will not realize their actual level of potential if we set the bar unreasonably high.  How about we push them to the next (whatever they want to become)?

Let Me Direct Your Praise Where it Goes

I have had the good fortune recently of people approaching me and complimenting me about various school related activities or accomplishments.  This is nice because we all know that we are usually the complaint department and manager of sticky situations.  I get bombarded with a lot of negativity and I was truly thankful for the acknowledgements, but I am usually weird about it.

I have always noticed that after one of these great encounters, I feel that I was not gracious enough or didn't' handle it well.  I have lots of trouble accepting praise.  I have always struggled with this.  When I was named Principal of the Year, I really had a hard time accepting so many congratulatory comments and messages.  It was flattering to have that kind of attention but it was uncomfortable.  I participated in an interviewing exercise to get help with job interviewing skills.  The feedback from all three helping me was the same.  They had to tell me I was not speaking enough about me and that would not play well when being interviewed for a superintendent's position.  They were right.  I have found over the years that it is socially awkward for me to accept a compliment and I have yet to put a finger on why.  So I will attempt to here.

I think one reason that I don't take praise well is because it feel unnecessary.  A long time ago I made a personal and professional commitment to serve public school children.  I do this to the best of may ability every day.  Sometimes I'm a hero and sometimes I fall short.  The title of principal should and must always imply that we are here doing the best we can for the most students possible at all times.  I take this approach to my work because I understand that is required of me and my best is deserved by the students.  So when I get a compliment on how nice the building looks, I smile and thank them but that praise should not be directed towards me.  It is my job to make sure the kids have the best and cleanest facility that we can offer, so I do not expect praise for something I should already be doing.

So where should that praise go?  The school staff of course.  I'm happiest when others are getting credit.  I told a teacher a couple weeks ago that I felt like it is my job to provide the skeleton and their job to put meat on the bones.  While a crude example, this is true.  Anytime you visit a school building, it is a reflection of the staff most of the time.  A good school climate cannot be attributed to the principal alone.  Teachers and staff interact with the students each day and maintain the relationships that it takes to be a great school.  While I will accept your compliment, I will very likely shake it off and redirect you to the staff member that is the motivation behind the act or accomplishment.

While it is not my intention to be rude or not acknowledge the sometimes uncomfortable act of approaching the principal, I just want the credit to go where it belongs and it is usually not me.  So thank you, but let me direct your kind words to the people who get it the least and deserve it the most.

Don't Miss Story Time

I was really excited to get the opportunity to do the February entry for the Principal's Calendar for the IPA.  The task was to use the School Leaders Paradigm to help fellow administrators to reflect on the leadership attributes in the Paradigm.  If you have yet to look at the Principal's Calendar, you need to.  I have found it to be a helpful resource for those things that are time sensitive and that help you stay connected to what we do.

I picked February for the attribute of "Guiding".  The short description is "Acts as a trusted adviser, drawing from personal experience and expertise to offer guidance and support."  I took this to mean, how can you help others to realize their role of guiding their staff and students.  One good way I have done this is through story telling.  I think this is something we all do but discredit it as a leadership skill.  Guess what, a lot of inspiration comes from storytelling.

I can speak to this personally.  During my undergraduate studies I had a great Civil Rights Law instructor.  He had a great way of telling the story behind a case before we had to learn the stuffy legal stuff.  When we heard the story first, we were invested in the characters and wanted to learn more about the legal process.  I loved this class.  When I began to teach civics and world history, I did this a lot.  I know we have to teach the technical stuff and the names/dates but my teaching effort was more fruitful when I was a good story teller first.  When I began my graduate work at SIUC, I again had great retired administrators that understood the art and power of story telling.  I'm not sure I would have ever been inspired to become a school leader without those experiences.

As a principal, I do not get many chances to be a story teller but I seize those moments when they happen.  One of my favorite times of the year is when I speak to the school news paper on the stories behind censorship in schools and the case law that has shaped their legal rights.  I tell stories when we have talk circles.  I use that opportunity not to read the handbook to them, but to motivate them with tales of students past and how they recover from their circumstances.  They are engaged with he story and even though you don't use names, they connect with that person's situation.  To begin this year, I asked our teachers to tell their stories.  This became a great way to learn more about each other but it inspired us as a group.

I think those that have been moved and inspired by others are easiest to convince that this is a leadership skill.  If you don't feel that this is something you could be good at, just try it once.  People want to hear about relate able experiences when they need help.  This art is everywhere we go and woven into popular culture.  If you're a Star Wars nut like me, you may have noticed that little boy at the end of the movie.  After listening intently to the stories the other children were telling, he went outside to gaze at the stars.  The real nerds were wondering if this kid would be the next Jedi in Rian Johnson's new trilogy, but I saw it for what it was.  A kid with potential, looking to be inspired.  You have lots of these little guys in your schools.  Don't miss story time when the opportunity arises.

Ten Years From Now

I can tell you that the most cringe worthy thing to hear a parent ask is, "is my kid hanging around the bad kids?"  People think I'm crazy but I do not believe there is such a thing as a bad kid.  Sure I have kids that act out and need consequence and sure that means I have be loud sometimes.  That is a reality of the job even though it disappoints me to get to those moments.

The reality is there are no bad kids, only kids that have poor adult examples around them.  You can apply any demographic measurement around a student and it will always come back to the adults in a child's life.  I am a good example of this.  I could have been defined as at-risk of dropping out by today's standards but I had great adults around me.  I was raised by a loving grandmother and I had teachers that saw my potential and held me to it daily.  What adults often fail to see is potential.  Are we concerned about the kid we see today or the kid we hope to see in ten years?

Sometimes my students have to see the loud side of me.  I try hard not to get there, but what I hope they realize is that I'm not upset with the behaviors I am seeing, I'm upset knowing that those behaviors might cause failure as an adult ten years down the road.  I fear that they do not know their potential and I fear that I am not leading them to it.  This is a real struggle of any school employee that actually cares about what they are doing.  What what about everybody else?

Any adult can change a "bad" kid into an awesome kid.  What ever role you occupy in a kid's life, you can make a difference if no one else is.  I know the "it takes a village" is cliche but it is true.  There was a time if one of the neighbor parents yelled that she was going to tell your mother what you did, it meant a whoopin' when we got home.  Now it seems that parents are constantly competing with each other and there is no village.  Yet we always complain about the good old days and how kids used to behave and had manners.  The real truth is that we have to change if we want kids to change.  Can we all handle that truth?  Can we handle the reality that our kids are a reflection of us and their failures are our failures?

Adults of the world, take a good look.  You may not be a principal, a teacher or a coach but you can have an impact on one of those "bad" kids.  That kid that challenges your authority is a pain, but how can you nurture that into a gift?  He may turn into someone who speaks for those who cannot speak for themselves.  He may stand up so some other kid so they will have a future in ten years. 

Last week during a truancy meeting a student told us that she cannot get to school most days because her mother stays out late every night and cant get up to get her to school.  Yes, that's a sad story but I had much worse.  I see examples of adults that are unfit to raise their children and I fear what will happen with those kids.  They need an X factor and that can be any caring adult that believes in them.  Sometimes that's a neighbor, a teacher, a coach, a pastor or the friend of a friend.  I never give myself the option of giving up on a kid and sometimes I'm all they have.  They come to school everyday to have a functional adult in their life and even of we argue every day or they get into trouble, they show up for us.  I will speak for all school staff when I say we are proud to be this person.  The reality is, if its just us its not going to be enough.  Adults of the world, stand up for a kid's next ten years.