The 10:1 Rule Remastered

I used to do speaking engagements and professional development on serving low-income students.  One of the ways I encouraged my attendees to make emotional deposits into their students is the 10:1 rule.  The rule is that you have to say ten positive things to a student for every one criticism or negative thing that has to be said.  This can be tough to do, and I often found myself pushing to get all my ten positive comments in.  I never saw this as disingenuous because it pushed me to engage with my students who I knew needed it.  Remember what Rita said, "Kids don't learn from people they don't like."

I also applied this rule to coaching.  I was lucky enough to coach softball and girls basketball as a younger man.  I haven't coached anything in ten years, and now I have found myself on the field again as a volunteer assistant softball coach for my school's junior high team.  I'm going to be selfish and say that being in this role has made me feel young again.  I turned 50 this year, and when I'm with our team, I do not feel 50.  It’s only afterwards, when I am looking for the Tylenol.  

If you're a coach, you know that the best thing about coaching is the kids.  Sadly, I still hear some coaches blame phones and travel teams for kids not joining school teams.  That's not a problem with the 10:1 rule.  When you are upbeat, encouraging, and focused on player success, they return that enthusiasm to you.  This unique relationship is what keeps kids participating, and to see them light up when they learn a new skill or overcome what they saw as an obstacle is quite intoxicating.

Ten years later, the 10:1 rule and the relationships it creates make all the other noise go away.  Kids are free to work on themselves and work for their teammates.  They are eager to ask for feedback and love to stay for extra swings.  Coaches, the environment you create keeps players around and, most importantly, engaged.  I've heard it said over and over that kids don't quit teams; they quit coaches.  I wish this weren't true, but my experiences have led me to believe this.

For now, I will keep working on my personal goal of the 10:1 rule.  I know some days I will not get there, but I will always be making myself better so my players can be better.

Creating the "Others" in Education

I am a school administrator.  In certain segments of social media, I am the reason teachers are leaving the profession.  Shame on me.  In other segments, the parents are making teachers leave the profession.  And of course, the kids.  Those darn kids are so awful that teachers are leaving the profession.

Teacher friends, if you are someone who can scroll past these places because you know the issue is more complicated than that, God bless you.  If you can't stop consuming this content and it makes you angry, we need to talk.

If social media is good at anything, it is creating "others".  Those "other" people do not understand you.  Those "other" professionals do not put up with what you put up with.  Administration, parents, and kids are becoming those "others" that teachers should be pushing back against.  This is simply not the case.  Look at the post below.  It tugs at the heartstrings of teachers while not acknowledging that the very institution of school itself is being undermined.

Look at this one.  Nothing about this line of thinking is untrue.  The line in the middle says, "Teachers don't leave the job. They leave the conditions."  My feeling is that the graphic could be rewritten.    Maybe it should read, "Schools do not fail kids.  The conditions fail kids."  The school as a whole would benefit from these needs being met for every person at every level.  When were teachers not part of the school?  When the content creator, author, or public speaker needed clicks and views.  Don't take the bait.

My friends, I can take a joke.  This next one doesn't bother me, but it highlights my point.  I hear it more often than not that some administrator ruined the teaching experience for someone.  I'm sorry if that is you, but we are not all guilty for your experience.  The truth is, there are poor administrators just as there are poor teachers, custodians, and bus drivers.  The vast majority are doing their best with what they have and are happy to live under the bus (after being thrown under it) so others can thrive.  This is just another attempt at creating an "other" to attribute our problems and unhappiness to.

Folks, stop buying into this content that attempts to disassociate you from your school.  Our schoolhouses are in trouble, and everyone under our roof is welcome to join the cause.  Yes, new laws suck and make our jobs harder.  Yes, parenting is seeing a shift in priorities that do not match the purpose of schools.  Yes, screens are robbing our kids of the practice of social interaction, and that shows up as poor behavior.  And yes, we can engage each other to create a school culture that makes awesome kids without blaming each other.  Our schoolhouses can meet the needs of our staff, families, and most importantly, our students.  This is done by inviting people to the table and not excluding them.  Stop creating "others".