The 10:1 Rule Remastered

I used to do speaking engagements and professional development on serving low-income students.  One of the ways I encouraged my attendees to make emotional deposits into their students is the 10:1 rule.  The rule is that you have to say ten positive things to a student for every one criticism or negative thing that has to be said.  This can be tough to do, and I often found myself pushing to get all my ten positive comments in.  I never saw this as disingenuous because it pushed me to engage with my students who I knew needed it.  Remember what Rita said, "Kids don't learn from people they don't like."

I also applied this rule to coaching.  I was lucky enough to coach softball and girls basketball as a younger man.  I haven't coached anything in ten years, and now I have found myself on the field again as a volunteer assistant softball coach for my school's junior high team.  I'm going to be selfish and say that being in this role has made me feel young again.  I turned 50 this year, and when I'm with our team, I do not feel 50.  It’s only afterwards, when I am looking for the Tylenol.  

If you're a coach, you know that the best thing about coaching is the kids.  Sadly, I still hear some coaches blame phones and travel teams for kids not joining school teams.  That's not a problem with the 10:1 rule.  When you are upbeat, encouraging, and focused on player success, they return that enthusiasm to you.  This unique relationship is what keeps kids participating, and to see them light up when they learn a new skill or overcome what they saw as an obstacle is quite intoxicating.

Ten years later, the 10:1 rule and the relationships it creates make all the other noise go away.  Kids are free to work on themselves and work for their teammates.  They are eager to ask for feedback and love to stay for extra swings.  Coaches, the environment you create keeps players around and, most importantly, engaged.  I've heard it said over and over that kids don't quit teams; they quit coaches.  I wish this weren't true, but my experiences have led me to believe this.

For now, I will keep working on my personal goal of the 10:1 rule.  I know some days I will not get there, but I will always be making myself better so my players can be better.

Creating the "Others" in Education

I am a school administrator.  In certain segments of social media, I am the reason teachers are leaving the profession.  Shame on me.  In other segments, the parents are making teachers leave the profession.  And of course, the kids.  Those darn kids are so awful that teachers are leaving the profession.

Teacher friends, if you are someone who can scroll past these places because you know the issue is more complicated than that, God bless you.  If you can't stop consuming this content and it makes you angry, we need to talk.

If social media is good at anything, it is creating "others".  Those "other" people do not understand you.  Those "other" professionals do not put up with what you put up with.  Administration, parents, and kids are becoming those "others" that teachers should be pushing back against.  This is simply not the case.  Look at the post below.  It tugs at the heartstrings of teachers while not acknowledging that the very institution of school itself is being undermined.

Look at this one.  Nothing about this line of thinking is untrue.  The line in the middle says, "Teachers don't leave the job. They leave the conditions."  My feeling is that the graphic could be rewritten.    Maybe it should read, "Schools do not fail kids.  The conditions fail kids."  The school as a whole would benefit from these needs being met for every person at every level.  When were teachers not part of the school?  When the content creator, author, or public speaker needed clicks and views.  Don't take the bait.

My friends, I can take a joke.  This next one doesn't bother me, but it highlights my point.  I hear it more often than not that some administrator ruined the teaching experience for someone.  I'm sorry if that is you, but we are not all guilty for your experience.  The truth is, there are poor administrators just as there are poor teachers, custodians, and bus drivers.  The vast majority are doing their best with what they have and are happy to live under the bus (after being thrown under it) so others can thrive.  This is just another attempt at creating an "other" to attribute our problems and unhappiness to.

Folks, stop buying into this content that attempts to disassociate you from your school.  Our schoolhouses are in trouble, and everyone under our roof is welcome to join the cause.  Yes, new laws suck and make our jobs harder.  Yes, parenting is seeing a shift in priorities that do not match the purpose of schools.  Yes, screens are robbing our kids of the practice of social interaction, and that shows up as poor behavior.  And yes, we can engage each other to create a school culture that makes awesome kids without blaming each other.  Our schoolhouses can meet the needs of our staff, families, and most importantly, our students.  This is done by inviting people to the table and not excluding them.  Stop creating "others".

Cardboard Nostalgia

Like most people, I need a way to disconnect and give my brain and emotions some rest from my work.  Collecting cards again has become a form of therapy for me.  As a Gen Xer, I prefer the "old" stuff called Junk Wax.  It's not worth anything; it's very cheap, but the walk down memory lane is quite soothing.  I kept a large part of my childhood collection and have been adding to it with the cards I never had, which has become a lot of fun.

As I have reconnected with cards, I have been consuming social media groups and content to find some community with others like me.  Once I found it, I started posting shorts on YouTube.  A YouTube channel is a way to share this and be a part of the community.  Posting pack opening videos has been a lot of fun and a place where I do not see the ugliness from other parts of the internet.

Some creators do very well with engagement on these videos.  Personally, if I get 1,000 views per video, I'm pretty happy about it.  That tells me people are enjoying the same getaway that I am, with cards they are familiar with.  It's very rewarding.

A few months ago, I came across a pack of 1988 Donruss with Mark McGwire visible on the front of it.  I really wanted to keep it as a fun souvenir, but I also really wanted to open it. I polled the collectors of the internet, and they said to go ahead and open it because it is worthless.  😒 I held it for a while, but I eventually caved in and made a video of opening the pack.

1988 Donruss is a wildly unvaluable card set.  Some actually think the card design is ugly (it kinda is), and despite a few good cards, it is forgotten about until you post a video bringing it to life.  This one became one of my more popular videos because we all remember being kids and racing to a card shop or store to get a pack of cards for 40 cents.  Hoping desperately to find our favorite players inside.  This was how I connected with baseball when there was no internet.  You had the stats on the back of the card and the box score in the paper.

I think older people like old junk.  It reminds them of simpler times, good friends, and a time when the responsibility of adulthood was far from their minds.  Nostalgia can definitely be found on some cardboard.  Take some time to get your fix however you like.

You can see this video and many others at my YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@cassripspacks/shorts

A Lesson in Gratitude

I found myself caught off guard with a staff member recently, and I feel I need to explain myself.

At a training for my staff, our participants were asked to cross the room and ask someone what they are grateful for.  Showing gratitude has proven to be very good for your emotional health, and while this may make people uncomfortable, it is a worthwhile task.  I was visited by a teacher despite my being a facilitator.  I guess she didn't want me to feel left out.

She asked what I was grateful for.  This was an easy one.  I am thankful for my children.  Both are ending stages of their lives and starting new ones.  We feel fortunate to be blessed with our kids, even if they drive us nuts sometimes.  She followed up with what I was grateful for when it came to work.  This is where I faltered, and I could not answer confidently.

It's not as if I cannot find anything about my job or coworkers that I am not thankful for.  I have great students, accomplished teachers, and a cooperative school board, and we are pursuing goals that the district has not been able to reach in several years.  By all accounts, we are in great shape.  What I tried to explain in the 30 seconds the presenter gave us was that this line of work is difficult to stand back and admire your work and blessings.  Why?

The work of school is what Simon Sinek calls an infinite game.  A finite game has a defined start and end, like a football game or other contest.  When it is done, there is a winner and a loser, and the events of the game can be broken down and analyzed.  Infinite games are those that do not end, and the goal is to stay in the game as long as possible, building on every success.  People who work in schools understand that there are no finish lines, and even if you do well with a class, another one is waiting for you in the fall.  There will always be children to teach.  The goals of school districts and buildings are the same.  If you are doing the work well, you finish one project to feed the next, and so on.  Just as there are always kids to teach, they have to have facilities to come to.

I couldn't identify what I was grateful for immediately because that required being done and being able to reflect on how I got there.  When you are never finished, you can't do that.  I felt a bit of shame in my response to the teacher because I came off as unappreciative.  This is far from the case.  Agency is in the greatness of others, and all that our little school has accomplished is thanks to the work and patience of those who help me.

I think the lesson for me is that even if I never feel finished, I can appreciate all the steps along the way.  Lesson learned.  Showing gratitude can help me celebrate what is happening right now.  I feel that I need to make amends with my teacher by giving her a real answer.

I'm grateful for:

• Every high five, hug, or "good morning" my staff gives each kid when they walk in.
• All the training and professional growth my staff experiences every year.
• Every pair of shoes that we give to kids that either don't have any or have broken ones.
• "No questions asked" meals for kids who have nothing in their lunch boxes.
• All the behaviors we teach instead of punishing.
• All the sick days staff donate to other staff in need.
• Every time a teacher is moved to tears by a student's progress.

I hope this small list is a good start, and I will do better at recognizing my blessings.