We Have a Heart Problem

I'm sure I will be one of millions that post a blog or editorial about school shootings in the next few days.  After another tragedy, we are scratching our heads again.  The media consensus seems to be that this is the 18th school shooting of 2018 and it is only February.  As I look back over the 16 years I've spent in education, I wonder how we have to gotten to this place in such a short time period.  A place where school and church shootings are common and sometimes don't make the news unless a body count is involved.  So I guess we are in a place where we need to know what direction to go in.

Lets settle some truths before we dive in.  There is not one school that I know of that does not make student safety a priority.  There may be varying degrees and approaches, but we have made active shooter trainings and plans a norm in the school leader toolbox.  It is a sad reality of our profession and to allege that schools are not safe is not true.

Will tighter gun control measures deter the school or church shooter?  Absolutely.  Many of the recent mass shootings have been carried out with an AR-15.  Eliminating the legality of owing an assault rifle will help prevent mass shootings.  This has been proven in many other countries that do not suffer the gun violence that we do.

Do the major social media platforms need to monitor and report this behavior better?  Absolutely.  So many of these incidents are connected to posts on social media that shows the shooter's intent.  To my knowledge, the responsibility to report concerning pictures or posts rests typically with the users.  I will admit that I have not reviewed their policies but it seems to me that with all the filters and algorithms we could catch these posts and they could be directly reported to law enforcement.

I agree that it is not fair to limit the freedoms of many for those "crazies" that commit all these acts of violence, but when that argument is launched with the enthusiasm that it usually does, I feel that the problem is sitting right in front of us and we will not give in and work for the solution.  Our country has a heart problem.  Our nation's priorities do not align with it's greatest needs.

There is no single angle that can be taken to stop school shootings.  It is multi level problem that requires serious diligence by all of us.  We can start by rebuilding our finest American institution.

If we use Columbine (1999) as our starting point for this horrible trend of school and church shootings, a  lot of social issues have shaped our policy making and culture during that time.  The poverty rate has been up and down since that time where we would like to see a downward trend as we go.  As expected, the unemployment rate is also in a sporadic trend.  The point is that last great generation in the country prospered on economic opportunity.  When families struggle economically, they begin to deteriorate.  The economy seems to be a political football and election leverage, but there is a real consequence for not prioritizing it. Along with other social and political changes, the American family is struggling.

Ever hear people talk about the good old days?  Those old stories remind us of what intact families felt like.  No one could even dream of a mass shooting happening in a school or church back in those days because our families were strong and our values wouldn't allow it.  Those were the times when families were strong.  It seems to me that the family unit has become an afterthought.  People seem to place so much more value on things that are far less important.  We complain about the millennial attitude but it is by product of this movement away from valuing family and community.  I have always felt that the family is the heart of our country and right now we have a heart problem.

We can spend a day arguing the merit of the laws passed and where we have went wrong in elections, but we have to begin to focus on rebuilding the American family.  This is multi level task also.  Its a change in policy, attitudes and priorities.  Most importantly, it takes the willingness to put the collective good before the benefit of the small few.  It will not be an overnight process and we will have to make sacrifices.  Its worth it if we want to return to a news cast that doesn't involve shootings, sexual immorality, or crime at every level.  We must fix our country's heart problem if we want to return to the American way.

I spoke to my students a grade level at a time today to help make sense of this mess and and how to be empowered in the event we suffer such an event.  I am 41 years old and I cannot remember my junior high principal needing to have this talk.  My profession has changed profoundly over the years and I hope people know the depth of concern and care we have for our students.  It was difficult to look at the seriousness of their faces today when I spoke.  They do truly care about the lives of their classmates.  It is our job to nurture that caring and help them build strong families.  This is the start to fixing our heart problem.

Your Kid Will Not Be The Next (Fill in the Blank)

I remember when I was in junior high I was a huge Oakland A's fan.  That's right.  I was a west coast fan in the middle of Cardinal/Cub country.  I relied on the newspaper box score and baseball cards to know what was going on with the Bash Brothers.  I always watched the All-Star game and when they were in the series, I was glued to the TV.  You can image my delight when McGuire was traded to the Cardinals.  It's like I was 12 all over again.

The 12 year old experience is far different these days.  Kids are now showered with media from many different directions.  With the internet and improved television coverage, no team is too far away.  My nine year old is even more versed about the NBA (his favorite) that I was ever about baseball.  He gets up and watches Sports Center and his video games bring him very close to the player experience.  He can have an intelligent sports conversation with this 41 year old any day and its kinda cool.

As with all things, you have to take the bad with the good.  The side effect of the sports super star on display is that we get to see every bad angle they have.  Watch this video of Draymond Green:

I obviously do not know the man personally.  He may be a great guy and a pillar in his community.  I have no idea but I know he can be disrespectful to officials in a game.  I can tune that out and watch the game.  Guess who does not have the emotional maturity to do that?  You guessed it, our kids.

I get the pleasure of watching a lot of junior high, and younger, players that have huge attitude problems.  You know the kids I'm talking about.  The ones that are going to be drafted in the first round in 8th grade and they are already sketching what their first shoe line will look like.  They feel they are too big for the game before they even start playing high school sports.

I do get frustrated with these kids but as you may have guessed, I do not fault them for this.  Somewhere in their very young lives, an adult has convinced them that they are good enough to yell at referees, argue with their coaches, disrespect their teammates and embarrass their school.  This adult may have been a parent or a coach, but based on discussions I have with parents and coaches it is always the kid's fault.  It seems easier to assign blame to a child then hold the adults around them accountable.  Now lets cram their brains full of images of pro athletes behaving poorly on and off the court/field.

I think the real problem is that parents want their kids to be the next (fill in the blank).  You know, the next Jordan, Jeter or Elway.  The problem with that thinking is that their kids most always are not going to be those people especially at ten years old.  We are failing our kids when we place too high of expectations on them.  When we tell them they have to play at a certain level or convince them that they are at a certain level is foolish.  That eliminates the opportunity for an adult to grow a player.  That eliminates the possibility that a player will be coach able and humble enough to grow their talents and abilities.  Your kid will not be the next (fill in the blank).  Only they have the power to control that and they will not realize their actual level of potential if we set the bar unreasonably high.  How about we push them to the next (whatever they want to become)?

Let Me Direct Your Praise Where it Goes

I have had the good fortune recently of people approaching me and complimenting me about various school related activities or accomplishments.  This is nice because we all know that we are usually the complaint department and manager of sticky situations.  I get bombarded with a lot of negativity and I was truly thankful for the acknowledgements, but I am usually weird about it.

I have always noticed that after one of these great encounters, I feel that I was not gracious enough or didn't' handle it well.  I have lots of trouble accepting praise.  I have always struggled with this.  When I was named Principal of the Year, I really had a hard time accepting so many congratulatory comments and messages.  It was flattering to have that kind of attention but it was uncomfortable.  I participated in an interviewing exercise to get help with job interviewing skills.  The feedback from all three helping me was the same.  They had to tell me I was not speaking enough about me and that would not play well when being interviewed for a superintendent's position.  They were right.  I have found over the years that it is socially awkward for me to accept a compliment and I have yet to put a finger on why.  So I will attempt to here.

I think one reason that I don't take praise well is because it feel unnecessary.  A long time ago I made a personal and professional commitment to serve public school children.  I do this to the best of may ability every day.  Sometimes I'm a hero and sometimes I fall short.  The title of principal should and must always imply that we are here doing the best we can for the most students possible at all times.  I take this approach to my work because I understand that is required of me and my best is deserved by the students.  So when I get a compliment on how nice the building looks, I smile and thank them but that praise should not be directed towards me.  It is my job to make sure the kids have the best and cleanest facility that we can offer, so I do not expect praise for something I should already be doing.

So where should that praise go?  The school staff of course.  I'm happiest when others are getting credit.  I told a teacher a couple weeks ago that I felt like it is my job to provide the skeleton and their job to put meat on the bones.  While a crude example, this is true.  Anytime you visit a school building, it is a reflection of the staff most of the time.  A good school climate cannot be attributed to the principal alone.  Teachers and staff interact with the students each day and maintain the relationships that it takes to be a great school.  While I will accept your compliment, I will very likely shake it off and redirect you to the staff member that is the motivation behind the act or accomplishment.

While it is not my intention to be rude or not acknowledge the sometimes uncomfortable act of approaching the principal, I just want the credit to go where it belongs and it is usually not me.  So thank you, but let me direct your kind words to the people who get it the least and deserve it the most.

Don't Miss Story Time

I was really excited to get the opportunity to do the February entry for the Principal's Calendar for the IPA.  The task was to use the School Leaders Paradigm to help fellow administrators to reflect on the leadership attributes in the Paradigm.  If you have yet to look at the Principal's Calendar, you need to.  I have found it to be a helpful resource for those things that are time sensitive and that help you stay connected to what we do.

I picked February for the attribute of "Guiding".  The short description is "Acts as a trusted adviser, drawing from personal experience and expertise to offer guidance and support."  I took this to mean, how can you help others to realize their role of guiding their staff and students.  One good way I have done this is through story telling.  I think this is something we all do but discredit it as a leadership skill.  Guess what, a lot of inspiration comes from storytelling.

I can speak to this personally.  During my undergraduate studies I had a great Civil Rights Law instructor.  He had a great way of telling the story behind a case before we had to learn the stuffy legal stuff.  When we heard the story first, we were invested in the characters and wanted to learn more about the legal process.  I loved this class.  When I began to teach civics and world history, I did this a lot.  I know we have to teach the technical stuff and the names/dates but my teaching effort was more fruitful when I was a good story teller first.  When I began my graduate work at SIUC, I again had great retired administrators that understood the art and power of story telling.  I'm not sure I would have ever been inspired to become a school leader without those experiences.

As a principal, I do not get many chances to be a story teller but I seize those moments when they happen.  One of my favorite times of the year is when I speak to the school news paper on the stories behind censorship in schools and the case law that has shaped their legal rights.  I tell stories when we have talk circles.  I use that opportunity not to read the handbook to them, but to motivate them with tales of students past and how they recover from their circumstances.  They are engaged with he story and even though you don't use names, they connect with that person's situation.  To begin this year, I asked our teachers to tell their stories.  This became a great way to learn more about each other but it inspired us as a group.

I think those that have been moved and inspired by others are easiest to convince that this is a leadership skill.  If you don't feel that this is something you could be good at, just try it once.  People want to hear about relate able experiences when they need help.  This art is everywhere we go and woven into popular culture.  If you're a Star Wars nut like me, you may have noticed that little boy at the end of the movie.  After listening intently to the stories the other children were telling, he went outside to gaze at the stars.  The real nerds were wondering if this kid would be the next Jedi in Rian Johnson's new trilogy, but I saw it for what it was.  A kid with potential, looking to be inspired.  You have lots of these little guys in your schools.  Don't miss story time when the opportunity arises.

Ten Years From Now

I can tell you that the most cringe worthy thing to hear a parent ask is, "is my kid hanging around the bad kids?"  People think I'm crazy but I do not believe there is such a thing as a bad kid.  Sure I have kids that act out and need consequence and sure that means I have be loud sometimes.  That is a reality of the job even though it disappoints me to get to those moments.

The reality is there are no bad kids, only kids that have poor adult examples around them.  You can apply any demographic measurement around a student and it will always come back to the adults in a child's life.  I am a good example of this.  I could have been defined as at-risk of dropping out by today's standards but I had great adults around me.  I was raised by a loving grandmother and I had teachers that saw my potential and held me to it daily.  What adults often fail to see is potential.  Are we concerned about the kid we see today or the kid we hope to see in ten years?

Sometimes my students have to see the loud side of me.  I try hard not to get there, but what I hope they realize is that I'm not upset with the behaviors I am seeing, I'm upset knowing that those behaviors might cause failure as an adult ten years down the road.  I fear that they do not know their potential and I fear that I am not leading them to it.  This is a real struggle of any school employee that actually cares about what they are doing.  What what about everybody else?

Any adult can change a "bad" kid into an awesome kid.  What ever role you occupy in a kid's life, you can make a difference if no one else is.  I know the "it takes a village" is cliche but it is true.  There was a time if one of the neighbor parents yelled that she was going to tell your mother what you did, it meant a whoopin' when we got home.  Now it seems that parents are constantly competing with each other and there is no village.  Yet we always complain about the good old days and how kids used to behave and had manners.  The real truth is that we have to change if we want kids to change.  Can we all handle that truth?  Can we handle the reality that our kids are a reflection of us and their failures are our failures?

Adults of the world, take a good look.  You may not be a principal, a teacher or a coach but you can have an impact on one of those "bad" kids.  That kid that challenges your authority is a pain, but how can you nurture that into a gift?  He may turn into someone who speaks for those who cannot speak for themselves.  He may stand up so some other kid so they will have a future in ten years. 

Last week during a truancy meeting a student told us that she cannot get to school most days because her mother stays out late every night and cant get up to get her to school.  Yes, that's a sad story but I had much worse.  I see examples of adults that are unfit to raise their children and I fear what will happen with those kids.  They need an X factor and that can be any caring adult that believes in them.  Sometimes that's a neighbor, a teacher, a coach, a pastor or the friend of a friend.  I never give myself the option of giving up on a kid and sometimes I'm all they have.  They come to school everyday to have a functional adult in their life and even of we argue every day or they get into trouble, they show up for us.  I will speak for all school staff when I say we are proud to be this person.  The reality is, if its just us its not going to be enough.  Adults of the world, stand up for a kid's next ten years.

Social Issues Should be Part of the Curriculum

There's a lot of chances in my day to focus on negative things.  Things that just suck the life out of me and force me to question reality.  I can't browse through my news feed without being critical of what I see.  I can't go out in public without fielding complaints.  The roadblocks in my work seem to increase all the time.  I have lots of opportunities to be deflated. 

I was walking by a classroom last week and I heard what was music to my ears.  Students were arguing and questioning the teacher.  I know this might sound bad to most but I am a former social studies teacher and debating social issues was at the heart of many days in my classroom.  What was the issue, net neutrality.  Yes this has caused a ruckus all over the country and I was tired of the negativity I was seeing from it also.  So why is this music to my ears?  Introducing problems and conflict is the best way to teach middle and high school kids.

The most striking thing I heard was, "Why hasn't anyone told me about this?" and "Am I going to lose my internet?"  When they demand answers to questions that are important to them, you must seize the opportunity to teach.  It is truly difficult to engage students from a textbook or to force them into issues that are not relevant to them.  As educators we have to use these moments to build on and capture their attention.  For too long we have made them slaves to a textbook and demanded compliance over learning and growth.  Now to be fair, this is not really just the fault of less creative  teachers.  We have created a policy culture of demanding standardized test scores over true, empowering and enriching learning experiences.  We have all succumb to this culture and we share accountability for it.

I remarked to one of my teachers a few days ago during a post conference that I would love to teach now with the resources we have now.  It's not just the technology that fascinates me but the learning demands of the Millennial generation is truly unique.  I know they frustrate so many of us but I always look for opportunities for growth.  These kids are completely saturated with things that were not in existence when we were kids.  Do you remember ever having to consider what fake news was?  That's a no for me but now I am in a position to teach kids how to sort the good from the bad and because that is part of their reality, I see it as our duty.

Teaching social issues should be part of your curriculum.  Moan and groan if you want but we have certain realities we should face.  Otherwise, we will just be miserable that the cycle is continuing.  We have a unique duty and opportunity to lead this group into a better learning experience and also a better way to live. We can't prevent them from being saturated by the negative things of the world but we can teach them how to use the opportunities they get.  I'm pretty sure that's what schools are supposed to do.

Illinois Computing Educators-Southern Illinois Chapter will be hosting a Twitter Chat on social issues in the classroom.  Feel free to join us to talk about how you do this in your school.

The Christian Principal - The Son of a Carpenter (Part 4)

A buzz word I have heard over the last couple of years is "servant leader".   Administrators talk about being a servant leader to their kids, staffs and community to show they are invested in the well being of those around them and they are willing to serve to do so.  As a public school administrator, I would think that all of us exhibit the qualities of the servant leader but I would like to remind us of the servant nature of Christianity.  Service to others is implied in our faith.

Jesus Christ was not only the son of God but he was also the son of a carpenter.  There is a lot to be said about Joseph and what implications there are for all of us servant leaders.  On a personal note, I dislike the term "King of Kings" when referring to Christ.  I feel that God chose Joseph, as opposed to some more powerful man, to help further the lesson that we should be humble and be of service to God when we are called upon.  Joseph was given a huge task to father the son of God and accepted.  He could have left Mary by law but showed compassion to her.  This is the first example that God chose a perfect father figure for Jesus.  Joseph taught him his trade and was a righteous man.  Jesus even took on his mannerisms and attention to detail.  Joseph chose to walk in obedience of God despite the stigma it may have carried.  What an awesome example for the son of God.

How can we use this to guide us?  Lets look at this as a metaphor.  God sent the most precious thing he had to Earth and entrusted Joseph to lead and guide him.  Parents send their most precious things to us every day and expect us to lead and guide them.  Lets walk in obedience of God as Joseph did and lead and guide the best things we have in our communities.  Sounds like a simple metaphor but the example set for Jesus by Joseph is not a story to be overlooked.  This post could have easily been about the servant leadership of Christ and those stories are very abundant.  Often, it is the little known stories that can move us into the right direction and help us realize our purpose.

Let us review.  The Christian principal should make every effort to be compassionate, teach and practice forgiveness and set a Godly example for those who are under your care.  There are days that I fall short of this, but the pursuit of these things should carry on no matter what.  I felt strongly about writing these posts because there are great Christian men and women in our schools serving kids but feel that distinction does not belong in their school or is welcomed in their school.  I get complaints all the time that the problem with schools is that they are not allowed to pray and we don't swat them anymore.  Really, these are all excuses.  You may pray anytime and anywhere you want.  Principals can be Godly without pushing it on people.  We can be superheroes for God, hiding in plain sight as long as we are taking our faith with us everywhere we go.

Since posting the first in this series, I have gotten great feedback from fellow school administrators.  I even stumbled upon the Illinois Association of Christian Administrators.  Give these guys a look or a follow on Twitter.  I would like to thank my pastor, Robbey Smith, again for his support on this post.  He is a great example of servant leadership and Redemption Church is lucky to have him.  My hope is that I reassured some and maybe challenged the thinking of others.  I know it is my duty is to glorify God every day and I hope that I do this in my practice and example.