Who's Your Captain Miller?

A couple of weeks ago I lost one of my Captain Millers. My 8th grade English teacher, Mr. Forbes passed away as he was enjoying his retirement. To know what a Captain Miller is, you must be familiar with my favorite movie "Saving Private Ryan".

Tom Hanks played Captain Miller in the 1997 film that helped me put real perspective on my life. I have even done a couple of speaking engagements on the parallels between my life and the film and how I have dealt with being an at-risk kid growing up. The message to the kids and teachers that I've spoke to is to be somebody's Captain Miller. 

To capture his full essence watch the clip linked below. A quick summary of his character is this, he is a leader. A leader who can lead by example and put himself out in front of his men to get them where they need to be. He is smart but stays focused. His men saw him as a mystery because he didn't try to make friends with his men he simply put them where they needed to be to accomplish the mission. In then in the end, because the situation demanded it, he showed his humanity to his men to bring them closer.

As I have stated in an earlier post, for poor kids people are currency. I have been lucky enough to have several people willing to be my wealth over the years and thus my Captain Millers. Mr. Forbes was a Captain Miller because I always felt welcomed and valued in his room. He taught me and connected with me. He is one of the few teachers I made a real connection with. I don't think he knew I had become an educator but I'm sure he would have been a bit shocked to learn that. But really that's what you do for your Captain Millers. At the end of the film his last words to Private Ryan were, "earn this."  That's what you have to do for them every day. True Captain Millers don't want a thank you, they just want to know that the sacrifices they were making along the way made a difference.  

Who are your Captain Millers?  Have you earned their sacrifice today?

http://youtu.be/FF6C8MYdzQk

 

The Real Paula Dean Issue

I really need to get away from Facebook. In the last couple of weeks I get to see who supports Paula Dean and those who are utterly offended by her and it is getting sickening to listen to.  The real issue here is money. She stands to lose money and so do the people around her.  Her defense seems to be centered around whether or not she used the word nigger and whether or not it is wrong to do so.  Yes, I am a white man that just typed the word nigger as opposed to using the term "N Word".  I can tell you it is wrong to use these terms. Lets not forget a long list of disparaging words that are projected at any one of any color, race, sexual orientation, or ascribed status. 

These words are easy to use and that's why this debate is completely misguided. If you blindly call me a cracker, it is solely on the basis of skin color. I have more respect for someone who calls me a cracker based on their experiencing the content of my character. Yes the words of MLK are important here. He wanted his children to be judged by the content of their character and not the color of their skin. Lets go back to Paula Dean. Does anyone realize that this revelation came out in a court deposition. She is being sued for discrimination. Do we forget that?  People want us to excuse her for using the word 27 years ago but are they also asking us to excuse her from allegedly being discriminatory towards people of color?

I think I can overlook stupid people using stupid words and the fact that these stupid people fail to find value in their fellow man. It happens everyday sadly because we allow it. I will not raise my kids to be this simple minded. I cannot overlook the fact that in 2013 we are still talking about race and racism. That's the real issue folks. All people must realize that using words that simply label people is weak. It's time to finally judge people by the content by the content of their character. 

If the Founding Fathers Rose From Their Graves Part II

Well thanks to a morning of watching CNN at work I have been inspired to do a sequel. If the founding fathers had risen from the grave yesterday they would have seen the constitution at work just as they had designed it to. Now I think they would have had a little stronger stance on homosexuals than we do. After all they did convict witches of doing much less than trying to marry the same sex. But just as I wrote in the last post, our world is different. Our society has evolved in a way that they never imagined.


The supreme court ruled yesterday that same sex, legally married couples shall have the same federal rights and privileges provided to couples of the opposite sex. This stems from a two legally married women from New York. One spouse passed away and left her assets to her wife. The federal government taxed that inheritance to the tune of $363,000 just as if they we not married. These women were together for years and Edith Windsor, the plaintiff, said in her press conference that she could have married a man for a week and not paid any taxes on what he had left her. Now I paraphrased that a bit but you get the picture.

When you read the words, “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” that means something to anyone that has learned only a small amount of American history. My college history professors note that happiness was synonymous with property or land as it was written by the founders. Using the word happiness is far more reaching than what it was intended for. I think they knew what they were talking about. What about the Pre-amble that says:

 "We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide   for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

All the words that I underlined apply here. Our founders were Liberals by nature because of the challenges that existed and the times required it. In a country who’s constitution was written to provide constructive change, our people should be more tolerant. The treatment of anyone in this country that is a minority is staggering. We are Americans because we believe in the ideals outlined above, yet we abuse our right of free speech to disparage others. I refuse to treat people differently because they want the same happiness that I enjoy every day. And to anyone that uses religion as a justification to bash gay people, read your Bible. You can get into Heaven folks, but that is determined by YOUR behavior, not the behavior of others.

Here is my bottom line: live your life to its fullest potential, seek out happiness and fulfillment without hurting others. That was the vision of America that our founding fathers sought and its an easy way to live. I feel good when people are happy. Happy people make a happy society. I am happy that our Supreme Court got it right and now millions of people who once felt disenfranchised will now be happy.

http://www.usconstitution.net/xconst_preamble.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/27/us/politics/supreme-court-gay-marriage.html?_r=0

Don't Buy Me A Grill

According to the ads, all the retailers know what us dads want for Father’s Day. We want grills and tools. The truth is I don’t really want anything. I just want my kids to keep a promise.


Recently I have had the cute yet awkward moment with my kids when they tell me that they want to be just like me. My response to both was “don’t be like me, be better than me.” This is an awkward conversation because I immediately recalled all the mistakes I had made in my life and toes I had stepped on and I surely hope they have an easier path to happiness than I had. It’s cute because they do not have a clue how far ahead of me they actually are when I was their age. When they need a pair of shoes, we go get a pair of shoes. I had to save up paper route tips for a while.

I grew up fatherless, with my grandmother dirt poor living off of food stamps and Reagan cheese (you know, government cheese). I made the joke to my daughter that we were so po that we couldn’t afford the O and the R. She still doesn’t get it and I’m glad. What she also doesn’t get, but she will, is that I am now richer than will ever be because I am her father. You see, people from generational poverty find their wealth in people and not material things. Middle class values are great to pass on but for people have experienced the social mobility that I have, it’s hard to be a parent but it is truly rewarding to raise my new middle class kids. In a way I have hit the lottery twice and it pays out daily. It is now my responsibility to help them keep the promise.

The promise is, be better than me. I do what I do with what I have, but it is my job to see that my kids realize their potential and take advantage of every opportunity. My daughter played school in my building every day when she came over this year and I always joked that she was going to law school instead. The truth is it is flattering and I know I have made some type of an impact on my kids. That is the goal of any parent. Don’t buy me a grill, just keep the promise each day.

Thank You Teachers!

Its that time of year again to say thanks to our teachers.  I personally want to thank any teacher I have worked with in the last 12 years.  Making the decision to teach was the second best thing to happen to me in my life.  With all that the profession has put up with recently I have often asked what would influence a person's decision to choose teaching as a career?

I can't answer that for every person I can only answer that for myself and hope others feel the same way.  I began working with kids when I had just graduated high school and began working at Emery Brother's Skating Rink.  I learned quickly how to get kids to follow rules and how to get them to follow me.  I really enjoyed it but not because I loved to skate, but because the kids made it fun.  When I took my Job at Mt. Vernon Township High School I was in pure Heaven.  I was teaching my favorite thing to think about and I was given the opportunity to grow individuals.  I remember getting my first paycheck.  I looked at it and remembered that I would actually be getting paid to do this.  I completely forgot that I was going to get paid.  Don't tell anyone but I would do it for free.  It is that rewarding.

I'm often asked what the most difficult part of being a principal is.  I have my standard, politically correct answer but I actually have a real answer.  My real answer is customer service.  Schools are expected to keep their customers happy.  There has been a shift in the last 15 years or so that when someone is angry, we should appease them or we are running a bad school and cheating their kids.  My friends, I can tell you that schools are the last place to satisfy customers.  I'm not saying that I am rude to people or anything like that.  I'm saying that the institution of school is in part there to help grow our communities that reflect our values.  In doing this we have to hold a group to a standard that is fair and benefits all.  Too often we are asked to take care of individuals and the rights of the many should be overlooked.  This is what is hard about being a principal, the dying value of community.

Community is not just a good television show.  It is and should be a way of life.  I catch a lot of criticism for expecting my students to act as a unit.  It is imperative that we do.  They will grow up and contribute to our society and we need this "old fashioned" value to be taught.  Why is it wrong to expect people to help each other, and not just when someone has suffered a tragedy but just because it is the right thing to do?  We should be celebrating this idea in our schools but for some it is a slight on people's children.  Why do I stay in education?  Because we need people to stand up for the right values.  Because I am needed by my kids I will take the slams, the criticism, and abuse because if I cave who will do what we have been doing?

Teachers, you are in the right place and doing the right thing.  Who could do it better than those who believe in real values and passing them on to our students?  Keep your head up and press on.  Fight the good fight. 

I Did Learn Something at SIUC

As I mentioned in an earlier post I check my news feeds daily. I will admit that some days I am busy enough to do a headline scan and on other days I actually get a chance to read. Never the less, I am noticing a trend in the news that I actually learned about in college. I took a really interesting class at Southern called Politics of Journalism. It could have been a great class but the instructor was not very engaging but I did pick up a few things. One of those things: thematic vs. episodic news coverage.

Episodic coverage is the covering of news events that seem to be unrelated and provide little back story and rarely get followed up. Thematic coverage is a little different. Thematic news coverage tends to follow similar events like it is part of a tv show. Ultimately, these events prompt policy makers to act based on public perception of what ever problem is being thematically coved.

The thematic coverage of the past few months have obviously been guns and kids since the Sandy Hook tragedy. Any story that can be ran is either about guns, kids, or both at the same time. I see tons of mainstream news coverage of kids behaving violently. I have posted some of these articles on my Facebook wall because it has really struck me. Any story about juvenile crime is fair game these days. I get a little frustrated because I am in the kid business and I hate to see them portrayed in a negative light. We school types are doing the best we can.

Can this be helpful or hurtful? I am going to be non-committal and say both. Continued coverage of teen troubles will make the conservative types frightened and wonder, "What is wrong with kids these days?" and ask "Where are these kids parents?" The more liberal types will begin to question the system and devise ways to change institutions to create the desired outcome. The fact is both of these things need to happen. We too often are asked to pick side rather than bring what we have to the table. There is simply too much at stake to play politics or point fingers. Thanks to the news coverage, new conversations are happening. They may be uncomfortable but they need to be held.

I have often said if we want to fix our societal ills we must fix our families. Don't let the news discourage you, let it inspire you. In my post, Lead With the Positive I dreamed about a day that I would look at the news and see positive stories to start my day. Now my new dream, to see positive thematic coverage.

The Good Old Boy System is Alive and Well

I have to operate in a profession that in some places is very much subject to the good old boy system. You know what I'm talking about. The system in which a few can get together, make a few phone calls, and make a desired outcome happen for the benefit of those few. That manifests in different forms such as hiring practices, facilities decisions, who plays or not and so on. Now you would like to think that this shouldn't happen schools systems because we should be working for the kids and not for ourselves but to the contrary, it is alive and well in schools. This seems to be the easiest route of influence for those who seek personal gains for their families.

I realize that this is largely based on perception. If you are ending up on the short end of the stick all the time it is easy to chalk one up to the good old boy system. I made my own way. I put myself through school, earned my first position in education through merit and the rest is history for me. I am always complaining about the good old boy system because I have never been a part of it. In fact I have days where I feel that I have helped the helpless beat this system and some days I feel that I was a part of it. It is frustrating for guys like me. I have struggled over the past six years with preserving my core values and not "playing the game."

Time has granted me a small bit of wisdom however and I have made peace with this maddening phenomenon. I just need to break even. Sometimes I win and sometimes I loose but the good old boy system can work for you. I don't mean join in, I mean play the game to break even. As long as I win a few and loose a few. I complained to a friend no too long ago about how one organization I have to work with has been overrun by the system and my hope for it was lost. At one time he was a candidate for the director of this organization and I told him that I sure wish would have gotten it so he could make the right impact for the group. He then said that would have put me in the good old boy system. He is right. Wanting my buddies in the right places is exactly what I am complaining about. Idon't want to be a part of the system but I do want what's best for kids. This comes through careful compromise with the system which in turn requires a great amount of patience. If the system wins too many battles, then kids are losing. If I win too many battles, I am part of the system and the kids are losing. The most impact full change for kids seems to be breaking even with the system. Honest compromise helps me be true to my values and helps me advocate for my students.