Don't Make Cell Phones an Excuse

Photo Courtesy of @NetReferee

I had a conversation recently with a coach.  We were discussing the low turnouts for summer camps and workouts in our district.  I'm a big sports guy and I have even been known to coach a little bit here and there.  My mind immediately went to wondering what team cultural issues exist that prevent kids from working over the summer.  Before I could complete that thought, the coach explained that cell phones and video games were ruining the kids and they were getting lazy.  I became frustrated but not with the coach.  This was probably the 200th time I have been told this.  Folks, this line of thinking is a horrible excuse for us parents simply not engaging our kids in real discussions about their technology use.  For the most part I think we are scared to do it.  

Let me be very clear, I am a huge tech advocate.  I believe in mobile technology in schools and that we should be models of productivity and learning as we use them.  The parents that think that the cell phones are taking over, like some kind of alien invasion, are simply not aware of how to empower themselves as parents and become the safety valves for their children.  We should realize that for every great thing we stumble upon, there will be downsides to using them. It is our job to minimize those downsides for our kids so their behavior does not become destructive.  We are the adults and we have to start adulting.  Our kids can't do that on their own.

There are researchers and experts beginning to define the idea of screen addiction.  Do I think there is such a thing?  Yes.  I actually show signs of it from time to time.  Many feel that screen time is akin to drug-like effects on the brain and we should begin to take it seriously.  I agree and I would like to open your eyes to this sobering reality.  Our kids are the largest consumers of things and the the internet is no exception.  Apps and games are designed and marketed to keep kids in front of their screens as much as possible.  There is a reason your child is constantly begging to download an app is because they are looking for a new fix.  I will by no means be a hypocrite and say that I do not do the same thing but I usually have one game app on my phone at a given time.  I do not toggle from app to app but the main reason for that is because my brain is not the well oiled machine that my kid's brains are.  All the more reason to take control of the devices in our home.

There are apps for parents to help limit accessibility and content.  I think most parents do not use them or even know about them.  Some parents fear the push back from their kids, especially those with pre-teens and teenagers.  There is a reason that we are encouraged to talk to our kids about drugs.  It's because research and tragic events have told us it is a good thing. It's also because we know that kids cannot practice anything in moderation.  If you need some action research on that look at anything on YouTube.  Using an app to monitor or restrict access helps your kids and family practice moderation.  You are not an evil dictator, you are a parent.  Cell companies also help monitor and restrict.  If you are not comfortable with using an app, just contact your wireless company and set up their parental controls.

We always have a lot at stake when we are talking about our kids.  We cannot use the excuse that cell phones are the problem when we are the ones that pay the bill.  We are really only creating an excuse for the lack of assertive parenting.   We are not perfect as parents but we work at it.  We are always looking for new ways to teach and model for our kids.  If we ever get really good at it, we will write a book but for now you will have to settle for this call to arms for our parents.

My school is a Bring Your Own Device School (BYOD).  They can bring any personal device they choose to use in the classroom.  Of course there are restrictions and expectations.  Of course we ask them to use apps that help in the classroom.  Of course we use NetRef to help us monitor behaviors and keep students engaged.  We can't ignore the fact that mobile devices will be a center piece of our kids lives as they become adults so we have taken the position that the school should help teach this and not run away from it.  Are we perfect?  Not even close but we are consistent and try to adapt to the changes in new apps and technologies.  We are willing to be assertive and serve our kids.  We need our families to do the same.  Don't make cell phones an excuse.