Social media really knows how to feed me content that is click bait for tired and fed up teachers. I understand, because there is plenty to be fed up with. One video really got me going though and it took me back to my newest book.
First, I do acknowledge that parenting across the generations can be quite different and that we should understand this before we criticize. However, I am not a fan of gentle parenting. I am a fan of parent leadership. If you want to help your child's teachers, give this a read.
I offer the following excerpt from my book about relational leadership when it comes to parenting.
So, what is my overall strategy for being a relational leader as a parent? You may not want to hear this but here we go. Your children are not little versions of you. Your children are not little adults that you get to hang out with. Your children are not meant to be the fix to all of your mistakes. Finally, your children will someday become their own people with their own kids. Did you prepare them for that? As we go through mentorship, trust, and empathy I hope that I can show you that our current notions of parenthood may be hurting our kids and our relationships with them.
What do I mean by this? Children who are gently parented (I think this is how you would say this) will negotiate with their parents over just about everything until being told no is just a suggestion. This is evidence that negotiations regularly take place and that the parents view their child as their equal. You cannot be a leader of your children if you do not see them as a follower.
Let me offer another about trust through reliability.
My challenge to you parent leaders is to take an inventory of your most repeated behaviors or reactions. What do your kids trust you to do? My son trusted me to have a high-speed come apart. Initially, I was upset by this, but then I took an inventory. He has had his share, albeit very few, of butt chewings. He was my student in one of my schools for a year and he knows that I’ve had to get loud with his classmates before. He knows I have strong opinions about law, order, and respect. Maybe I did give him a reason to think I would yell at him. How about you? If you heard your child talking about you while you weren't around, what would they tell people you freak out about?
My goal for parents is to behave in a way that their kids trust them to react to situations in a certain way. This is a very broad spectrum. On one side of the spectrum, can they come to you with a personal problem and they know you will be a good listener. On the other hand, if your kid gets pulled over by the police, does he trust that you will freak out on him and punish him? Kids who are gently parented, trust their parents will be easily manipulated and negotiated with. If you want to help your child (and their teacher), stop negotiating and build a set of parent leadership behaviors that they will come to expect without fail.
If you would like to learn more about parent leadership, find my book on Amazon at https://a.co/d/brokSnR It is also available on Barnes & Noble.
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