Being a Golf Parent is Good Therapy

I got to enjoy the River to River Conference Golf Tournament this year at Hickory Ridge. While I waited I got to watch parents being so dedicated to their kids. Packing coolers and setting up equipment as they practiced pitching and putting.  It is nice to watch the care that goes into being a golf parent. We are learning to be golf parents now that my daughter is playing in her first year.

Golf is hard to learn for a 15 year old kid that has only played team sports.  She has played softball since she was four and learning a new swing has been a season long process.  Sure we all get frustrated, but we know this is a learning year.  It is great to see her have a good nine holes and maddening to see the next round fall apart.  As we watch matches, we see many girls struggle to find their game.  It is interesting test of a player's will when you realize in a team sport you get taken out when you are not playing well.  In golf, you have to overcome bad play and finish.  When it is all done, they huddle together to check their score cards and ultimately someone is disappointed.

I guess the parenting lesson that I am being reintroduced to is that you can't compare your kids to other kids.  This is especially true in learning golf where one shot to the next can be an emotional roller coaster.  That scorecard is not a definition of the player, but sometimes it can be devastating to a kid.  I came across a great line of thought in the book "Middle School Matters" by Phyllis Fagell.  She urges parents to not compare their kids to others kids.  Instead, we should focus on teaching our kids to elevate others until it becomes ingrained in them.  I get to watch this during golf matches.  The girls encourage each other, help find each other's golf balls, and generally help each other through this difficult learning process.  Sure there are players that standout on the scorecard, but you get the sense that they work as a unit to endure tough experiences on the course.  

Fellow parents, please don't compare your kids to other kids.  Not in sports or any aspect of their lives.  It doesn't work and it sends the wrong message to a your child.  I am very guilty of comparing my daughter's shots to other players, hoping that she will keep up with them and score well.  Shame on me.  As an educator, I know kids are on different levels and will reach their goals through a series of successes and failures.  Being a golf parent has brought my own mindset back to one of focusing on growth when it comes to sports.  Her stepping out of her comfort zone was not only good for her, but for me too.  It's funny how we forget that we are supposed to learn with them.  If you get the chance, become a golf parent.  It certainly has been good for me.