Chronicles of a Free Lunch Kid (Part 3)

During high school I experienced a turnaround during my junior year.  I had a teacher that took genuine interest in her students.  She showed concern for us outside her class requirements and got excited for new opportunities for her students.  I had her for two classes a day and it was the best two classes of the day.  Now I will admit they were woodworking and art but they were a place for me to grow personally.  I had a chance to grow because I was taught to set goals, work to achieve them and then take pride in my work.  This was a great setting for a free lunch kid to not have to think about what I was experiencing but on what my possibilities were.  I began being confident and started to work to earn money but I also continued those qualities that allowed work to be an escape.  I began to feel like one of those kids that paid for their lunch.  I would like to thank Kathy Morgan for being a spark for me.

Dr. Ruby Payne is the education expert on teaching children of poverty.  When I was teaching at Mt. Vernon Township High School, her training was mandated to us as a school improvement activity.  Remember, free lunch kids can be a measure of how a school is performing.  The training was completed to satisfy a goal.  This training was much more to me.  I finally was able to connect my childhood to my new profession.  This was literally an eye opening experience that shaped the way I would approach teaching and schools because I finally understood myself.

In A Framework for Understanding Poverty, Dr. Payne teaches educators the nature of poverty and the hidden rules that middle class educators should know about their free lunch kids.  So much of this is true from my first hand experience.  I began to compare the hidden rules among classes and truly understood why Mrs. Morgan had such an impact on me.  Take a look at this chart from her book:

Teachers typically come from middle class backgrounds and this small sample of the hidden rules is a lot to consider in their everyday teaching practice.  Her book provides ways for teachers to create teaching methods activities that reach the free lunch kid.  Mrs. Morgan had no idea she was a pioneer 25 years ago but she did understand and practice the most impactful element of Dr. Payne's book, creating relationships. 

Dr. Payne teaches that relationships are made by making emotional deposits to students, emotional withdrawals are avoided and students are respected.  An example of a deposit would be "Respect for the demands and priorities of a relationship."  I interpret that as not blowing off what is important to a student's social situation or problem.  I listen first and help them apply middle class rules to their dilemma.  This works.  I gain student trust and even when we disagree, they continue to see me as an ally and not the principal.  Sure there is payoff in the form of better work situations for me, but the real payoff is that the relationship is made and maintained.  

Though I am not a paid spokesperson, I encourage any teacher, coach, mentor, social worker and others to familiarize yourself with Dr. Payne's work.  Even if you didn't grow up a free lunch kid it will have an impact on you.  Developing real relationships with free lunch kids makes the difference and could change a life.  It did for me.

I saw Mrs. Morgan in Walmart many years ago.  She was excited to hear that I was a teacher.  I love running into my old teachers, especially since I became a building principal.  I didn't have any bad teachers or any mean teachers but I do selfishly love for them to see what I have done.  Maybe its a small lesson for them that being a free lunch kid was only the surface and my real potential was waiting to be unlocked.

In part 4 I will examine how my adult life has changed my approach to parenting and just whether or not my poverty past rears its head.  How does my childhood compare to theirs?