New Crusade?

Years ago I had a student dispute me during a sociology class. I don’t mind being challenged but she told me that Catholicism was not Christianity. I was a social studies teacher and I knew my history. I knew that the Catholic church was actually the first Christian institution. I explained this to her and she was horrified. She told me that her parents taught her differently and she was not backing off that belief. I let it go. It was not surprising to me that an adult would attempt to pass on their beliefs to their kids, but it is frustrating when they are just wrong. What does this family have to gain by manipulating history and misinforming their children? Here is another good question, what do people have to gain by shouting at the top of their lungs that homosexuality is immoral and gay marriage should be illegal?

I’ve thought about this on many levels. In politics, candidates make their beliefs known to earn your vote and sometimes take a policy stance on that issue. Religious institutions see this and latch on to a candidate. This works for both the candidate and the institution. When they can tell you what the problem is and then who is to blame for it, they are trying to win an election or keep loyal followers. It’s an advertising campaign, not a morality campaign.

On an individual level it is easy to attack homosexuals and consider them a morality issue. Lets face it, it is hard to find a Christian who has not violated the Ten Commandments in some shape or form so gay people are an easy target. I’ve heard some interesting commentary about how gays are a threat to a civilized world and perhaps God has begun the rapture. Now take a side, you’re either for gay marriage or against it. Supporting it means you stand against good Christian values and being against it means you are doing God’s will.

Its 2012 so lets get real. Campaigning against groups of people in the name of religion is an old concept that has proven to be devastating. Heresy was punished by death and the early Catholic church considered protestants heretics. Maybe this is why my student’s parents taught her what they did. How many lives did the Crusaders take in the name of the church? Did you know that evidence against women accused of being a witch included charges of unladylike behavior, like yelling at their husbands in public. Ok, maybe we need to start that movement again (just kidding). I think we are beyond this type of behavior. Here is a thought, do what you need to do to get into Heaven. We often worry about telling others what they need to do. This is simply a ploy to cover our own shortcomings. I do the best I can each day to live a good life and maybe that will get me into Heaven some day. One thing is for sure, I will never tell someone else how to get there. Ultimately it is their job to get there.

Launching new crusades against groups of people is wrong. When we can address ourselves first, we can create the life we want to lead.

The American Landscape

I read an interesting article from the Washington Post recently about the numbers of minority babies and how they will impact our nation’s demographics. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/census-minority-babies-are-now-majority-in-united-states/2012/05/16/gIQA1WY8UU_story.html?tid=pm_local_pop)

The article points out that more than half of American babies under the age of one are non-white. It even goes on to state that non-white Hispanics in the country will be outnumbered by 2042. One of the biggest factors is the number of Mexican immigrants that are of child bearing years combined with an aging white population that are leaving their child bearing years. It immediately dawned on me that this is why Republicans are in favor of restrictive immigration policy but then I decided to play nice with this one.

My thinking is that it is 2012 and there are till people that refuse to accept other cultures and beleifs. I’m not just talking about white people either. If this article tells us anything, it tells us that we will soon not have a choice. This must start with our social institutions. Did you know that there are schools that still teach Latin? Right now we have ESL Programs (English as a Second Language) for Hispanics ans Asians to learn English, but what happens when English becomes the second language for a majority of the country?

This will definitely change parenting. I grew up in Marion and had the opportunity to have friends of different colors. I think this was the single contributing factor to my own open mind when it comes to understanding people. My daughter will not have that opportunity in West Frankfort where the population is predominately white. Its up to me to keep her from being dismissive of people she doesn’t understand.

The American landscape is changing quickly. Those who resist change will be miserable so I think I will keep my open mind and embrace my country, even if it begins to look a little different.

Wrong Direction

I recently had the pleasure of holding Honors Night at my school. It is a joy to tell a student that they have put in long term effort and reached their goals. This is the building of self esteem. Setting a goal and then guiding kids through the ups and downs of the journey to get there. It seems there is a new definition of self esteem.

I have often joked that this is the generation where everybody gets a trophy. There is this sense of entitlement that didn’t appear to exist just 20 years ago. Having a front row seat to this the past ten years has been challenging to me, not just as an educator but as a coach too. I will never fault the kids for this even if it is truly aggravating to be fair when they expect something different. This is a parent-created situation that is causing entire institutions to change to meet the needs of kids that were raised entirely different that I was.

Here are some things to think about parents:

If you have to change the rules so somebody’s feelings don’t get hurt, then you are going in the wrong direction.

If you think your kid didn’t get enough awards, then you are going in the wrong direction.

If you encourage your child to quit a team because they are not playing, then you are going in the wrong direction.

If you ask your child’s teacher for extra credit to fix a poor grade, then you already went in the wrong direction.

If you think your child deserves some recognition for something they should already be doing, then you’re going in the wrong direction.

If you defend you child’s poor behavior by arguing that it’s the other kid’s fault, you are going the wrong direction and you just might be blind. (I’ve had this one a few times)

These types of behaviors by parents can create problems for kids. They have significant struggles growing up (surely we all remember ours) and it hinders their abilities to make positive relationships with other kids. When they get to me, they tend to fail at making friends or treating the ones they have with any respect or loyalty. This is only one of the pitfalls of this kind of parenting. If you do the research, you will find the answer to this question. Be careful of what you read. Many “experts” are encouraging the promotion of self esteem, millennial style, not the promoting of good parenting. It can be frustrating to find people trying to take parents in the wrong direction. Just ask yourself, “what would my parents have done?” and you will probably have the right answer.

People That Don't Deserve It

What a week I’ve had. I found myself dealing with unreasonable parents this week. Don’t get me wrong, I have great families and parents who are kind to me and help the school when needed. They support their kids in the right way and believe in what we try to accomplish. I am very thankful for them. Somehow they took a break this week and I was left with those who I cant do anything right for.

At the beginning of the week I was made aware that one of our student’s mother was dying of cancer and had been in bad shape for a while. None of us had any idea this was going on. The teacher that told me this sprung into action, organizing support for this young lady and rallying the other teachers to her side. All during teacher appreciation week. A time where people should be showing support for teachers, and mine were working hard for this little girl. Thank you!

So let me just list the issues I spent my week on. No details, just a list.

Three students refusing to come to school and parent unwilling to make them.
Three separate issues of girl drama and rumors
A theft
A parent disagreement over academics and extra credit
A school bus bully
Scores of kids sent to the office
Arranging medical care for a child who’s parent was unwilling to do so

The amount of time I spent on these, and I’m sure other issues, was staggering. I usually didn’t even know what time it was during the day as I chipped away on these things. On Friday I finally got to check my mailbox. There was a note in there from the above mentioned teacher telling the staff that the mother of our struggling student was given 72 hours to live. Now I have written on this blog before that we very often fail to keep our eye on the ball. I and embarrassed to say that I didn’t. I failed to find one opportunity to speak to this young lady or offer some kind of support to her.

The problem is that this girl is the exact opposite of the issues above. She is a sweet kid that bothers no one. She comes everyday and does her job. She doesn’t play sports so she gets no attention outside of her closest friends. Folks, the problem with schools is not that we don’t teach the kids the right material or that we don’t teach them values, the problem is that we ignore the kids that matter the most. I did that this week and shame on me. I gave my time to people who don’t deserve it and sadly I am forced to do this almost daily. As the school year ends and I reflect on how I can be better, I will definitely keep my eye on the ball.

Not 20 Years Ago

I recently read a Facebook post called the new Pledge of Allegiance. It was a clever and lengthy rhyme about how schools are in trouble because religion is not allowed in schools anymore. To be honest, I was offended. Not because I feel religion doesn’t belong anywhere, but that lack of religion is the solution to everything. This seems to be the way of current political campaigns but I refuse to accept this for schools.

Its good to say that we need some sort of moral compass for our kids. I know that being active in your faith can provide that. The problem is that not enough kids are provided with any kind of moral compass whether it be religious or not. So many kids enter my doors each day without moral guidance and when that lack of morals is displayed, we make excuses.

Think about the state of American families today. Divorce is not only common place, it is considered normal. This was not the case 20 years ago. I was raised by my grandmother due to a lack of willingness to parent by my parents. Normal now but not 20 years ago. I can turn on just about any prime time television show tonight and hear the words damn, hell, ass, and bitch. Everything else is beeped out but you know what they’re are saying. This does not exclude the sexuality that surrounds these kids daily. Normal now but not 20 years ago.

I could tell you stories about the conduct of kids that would either make you mad or melt your heart. We don’t lack religion in schools, we lack families in schools. Schools haven’t changed, families have. Kids haven’t changed, families have. Rebuilding the American family should be our top priority, not adding religion in schools. If we roll back the clock to 20 years ago, religion will come back to schools and we wouldn’t have to post the Ten Commandments to do it.

Fight the Fights That Need Fighting

I was speaking to one of my teachers the other day and she shared a conversation she had with a parent of one her students. The parent’s child was failing the class and was seeking out ways in which her son could pass. When the teacher could not provide a quick fix for her, she insisted that she was going to call the principal and the superintendent. She told her that there was a law called No Child Left Behind and that this particular teacher was indeed leaving this child behind.

This made me laugh. Not because she was a little over the top but because I realized how little people know about the state of my profession. No Child Left Behind has a catchy title indeed, but the law is more about testing than teaching. People do not understand what people in my line of work put up with. Not be selfish I began thinking about what other professions deal with.
I know we have all watched the news and became frustrated when a criminal only gets probation for a crime we all know they committed. What about the story I heard the other night about the number of unnecessary medical tests that doctors seem to be performing. The answers to these questions almost always falls on the law or lawsuits.

The fact is that law is written by mostly professional politicians that are not even close to the issues of what many professionals face. They generally have no perspective on what happens “on the ground”. I often tell people that school law is usually written by people who have haven’t been in a school since they went to school and sometimes that was a private school. I’m sure doctors and police officers feel the same way.

Case law (lawsuits) causes people to not act or overact in fear of being sued. This has a tremendous chilling effect on any profession. Nobody wants to invite the possibility of huge financial loss when they could have taken an approach that was more aggressive for the situation. Don’t get me wrong, case law provides a set of rules that help protect the individual but you cant just fight the fights you can win. Fight the fights that need fighting.

The Court of Public Opinion

These days it is easy to wander onto Facebook and read about the day’s drama, rants, complaints, narcissism or just the good clean fun. It is as easy to read as it is to post. I’m sure we can agree that it is easy to vent a little when we have had a bad day but how far is too far?

There have been court rulings that have protected Facebook as a forum of free speech. That’s great. The first amendment is my favorite. But just as we relish in that small victory, let us remember that the first amendment comes with responsibilities. I have always told my students that your rights end where the next man’s nose begins. In other words, you can do what you want so long as you do not hurt others. That being said, I think there are some folks out there that need a lesson in libel and slander.

Libel and Slander occur when a person communicates false information that damages the reputation of another person. Now in some cases this is not done intentionally. People just don’t know all the facts and they misspeak about a situation or a person. There are some people though, sadly, do this intentionally for whatever reason. Some might need the support of others when they want to be right. They may do this at the expense of a good person and cause them many headaches with family, friends or even their jobs. The bottom line is that you can be sued for this. As the courts continue to sort out the online world, I would treat Facebook as if you are literally standing in front of your 457 friends (most of them you didn’t even talk to in high school) and realize that somebody will hear you. Facebook has actually made the world a smaller place, not a bigger one.

Exercise caution my friends!

http://www.enotes.com/first-amendment-law-reference/libel-and-slander