You Are What You Celebrate

I had the opportunity to attend a very special event this week.  Our BETA Club went to their annual state convention in Springfield and man did they impress.  They entered in 25 competitions and placed in 13.  Of those 13, seven were first place winners.  This was the best state convention that we can rememeber and their trip to nationals in June appears to be very promising.  My daughter has been a BETA both years in junior high and it has been a very rewarding experience for her.  She has created lasting memories and learned what it takes to meet high expectations.  Our students truly are preparing themselves for sucess.  On a side note, our kids are some of the best behaved students there each year I have attended.

I found myself as excited as the kids were about their triumphs.  I had flashbacks of when I was a YMCA Youth & Government sponsor at Mt. Vernon and Elverado.  I remember fondly not only being a very successful delegation but also communicating how important it was to our students that they perform at a high level and put themselves on the map at every turn.  Our BETA Club has been successful over the years but not like this.  They got the full experience of being the school that everyone was looking at and wanting to know more about.  I was very proud and quickly took to the bus to tell them that before we left.  I also had to post about it on social media to tell the world how these kids made their community proud and represented them well on a large stage.  The comments and feedback were great and you could feel that community pride with each conversation.

I have no problem celbrating our kids.  What I have loved about our BETA Club is that every kid that is selected understands that they are expected to compete at a high level and add plaques to the wall when they get home.  Having high expectations and helping kids acheive to their fullest potential should be the mission of every school.   When that mission is executed, we have to celebrate our kids so it will perpetuate itself.

Let's use that word with caution.  Celebrating is great if you celebrate the right things.  You are what you celebrate.  If you celebrate mediocrity, that's what you will get.  If you celebrate reaching a low level goals repeatedly, there will be no motivation to go further.  You are what you celebrate.  I often have a lot of conversations about school climate with fellow admins and I usually take a quick peek at their social media pages to see what they celebrate.  Those school leaders that report that their schools feel uninspired, usually have very dull websites and social media pages.  I always challenge them to tell their stories on social media.  They might be uncomfortable with doing that but our families love to see that our schools are dynamic learning spaces that are growing students.  Social media is a great venue to celebrate who you are.

It was an absolute treat to travel with our BETA Club as a parent helper.  I would like to give a big shout out to our sponsors and kids for making their community proud but also for having high expectations.  We celebrate high expectations all the time and remember, you are what you celebrate.

Our Special Talent dancers saying a prayer backstage before competing in the finals.  They took first place in the event.

We Have a Heart Problem

I'm sure I will be one of millions that post a blog or editorial about school shootings in the next few days.  After another tragedy, we are scratching our heads again.  The media consensus seems to be that this is the 18th school shooting of 2018 and it is only February.  As I look back over the 16 years I've spent in education, I wonder how we have to gotten to this place in such a short time period.  A place where school and church shootings are common and sometimes don't make the news unless a body count is involved.  So I guess we are in a place where we need to know what direction to go in.

Lets settle some truths before we dive in.  There is not one school that I know of that does not make student safety a priority.  There may be varying degrees and approaches, but we have made active shooter trainings and plans a norm in the school leader toolbox.  It is a sad reality of our profession and to allege that schools are not safe is not true.

Will tighter gun control measures deter the school or church shooter?  Absolutely.  Many of the recent mass shootings have been carried out with an AR-15.  Eliminating the legality of owing an assault rifle will help prevent mass shootings.  This has been proven in many other countries that do not suffer the gun violence that we do.

Do the major social media platforms need to monitor and report this behavior better?  Absolutely.  So many of these incidents are connected to posts on social media that shows the shooter's intent.  To my knowledge, the responsibility to report concerning pictures or posts rests typically with the users.  I will admit that I have not reviewed their policies but it seems to me that with all the filters and algorithms we could catch these posts and they could be directly reported to law enforcement.

I agree that it is not fair to limit the freedoms of many for those "crazies" that commit all these acts of violence, but when that argument is launched with the enthusiasm that it usually does, I feel that the problem is sitting right in front of us and we will not give in and work for the solution.  Our country has a heart problem.  Our nation's priorities do not align with it's greatest needs.

There is no single angle that can be taken to stop school shootings.  It is multi level problem that requires serious diligence by all of us.  We can start by rebuilding our finest American institution.

If we use Columbine (1999) as our starting point for this horrible trend of school and church shootings, a  lot of social issues have shaped our policy making and culture during that time.  The poverty rate has been up and down since that time where we would like to see a downward trend as we go.  As expected, the unemployment rate is also in a sporadic trend.  The point is that last great generation in the country prospered on economic opportunity.  When families struggle economically, they begin to deteriorate.  The economy seems to be a political football and election leverage, but there is a real consequence for not prioritizing it. Along with other social and political changes, the American family is struggling.

Ever hear people talk about the good old days?  Those old stories remind us of what intact families felt like.  No one could even dream of a mass shooting happening in a school or church back in those days because our families were strong and our values wouldn't allow it.  Those were the times when families were strong.  It seems to me that the family unit has become an afterthought.  People seem to place so much more value on things that are far less important.  We complain about the millennial attitude but it is by product of this movement away from valuing family and community.  I have always felt that the family is the heart of our country and right now we have a heart problem.

We can spend a day arguing the merit of the laws passed and where we have went wrong in elections, but we have to begin to focus on rebuilding the American family.  This is multi level task also.  Its a change in policy, attitudes and priorities.  Most importantly, it takes the willingness to put the collective good before the benefit of the small few.  It will not be an overnight process and we will have to make sacrifices.  Its worth it if we want to return to a news cast that doesn't involve shootings, sexual immorality, or crime at every level.  We must fix our country's heart problem if we want to return to the American way.

I spoke to my students a grade level at a time today to help make sense of this mess and and how to be empowered in the event we suffer such an event.  I am 41 years old and I cannot remember my junior high principal needing to have this talk.  My profession has changed profoundly over the years and I hope people know the depth of concern and care we have for our students.  It was difficult to look at the seriousness of their faces today when I spoke.  They do truly care about the lives of their classmates.  It is our job to nurture that caring and help them build strong families.  This is the start to fixing our heart problem.

Your Kid Will Not Be The Next (Fill in the Blank)

I remember when I was in junior high I was a huge Oakland A's fan.  That's right.  I was a west coast fan in the middle of Cardinal/Cub country.  I relied on the newspaper box score and baseball cards to know what was going on with the Bash Brothers.  I always watched the All-Star game and when they were in the series, I was glued to the TV.  You can image my delight when McGuire was traded to the Cardinals.  It's like I was 12 all over again.

The 12 year old experience is far different these days.  Kids are now showered with media from many different directions.  With the internet and improved television coverage, no team is too far away.  My nine year old is even more versed about the NBA (his favorite) that I was ever about baseball.  He gets up and watches Sports Center and his video games bring him very close to the player experience.  He can have an intelligent sports conversation with this 41 year old any day and its kinda cool.

As with all things, you have to take the bad with the good.  The side effect of the sports super star on display is that we get to see every bad angle they have.  Watch this video of Draymond Green:

I obviously do not know the man personally.  He may be a great guy and a pillar in his community.  I have no idea but I know he can be disrespectful to officials in a game.  I can tune that out and watch the game.  Guess who does not have the emotional maturity to do that?  You guessed it, our kids.

I get the pleasure of watching a lot of junior high, and younger, players that have huge attitude problems.  You know the kids I'm talking about.  The ones that are going to be drafted in the first round in 8th grade and they are already sketching what their first shoe line will look like.  They feel they are too big for the game before they even start playing high school sports.

I do get frustrated with these kids but as you may have guessed, I do not fault them for this.  Somewhere in their very young lives, an adult has convinced them that they are good enough to yell at referees, argue with their coaches, disrespect their teammates and embarrass their school.  This adult may have been a parent or a coach, but based on discussions I have with parents and coaches it is always the kid's fault.  It seems easier to assign blame to a child then hold the adults around them accountable.  Now lets cram their brains full of images of pro athletes behaving poorly on and off the court/field.

I think the real problem is that parents want their kids to be the next (fill in the blank).  You know, the next Jordan, Jeter or Elway.  The problem with that thinking is that their kids most always are not going to be those people especially at ten years old.  We are failing our kids when we place too high of expectations on them.  When we tell them they have to play at a certain level or convince them that they are at a certain level is foolish.  That eliminates the opportunity for an adult to grow a player.  That eliminates the possibility that a player will be coach able and humble enough to grow their talents and abilities.  Your kid will not be the next (fill in the blank).  Only they have the power to control that and they will not realize their actual level of potential if we set the bar unreasonably high.  How about we push them to the next (whatever they want to become)?

Let Me Direct Your Praise Where it Goes

I have had the good fortune recently of people approaching me and complimenting me about various school related activities or accomplishments.  This is nice because we all know that we are usually the complaint department and manager of sticky situations.  I get bombarded with a lot of negativity and I was truly thankful for the acknowledgements, but I am usually weird about it.

I have always noticed that after one of these great encounters, I feel that I was not gracious enough or didn't' handle it well.  I have lots of trouble accepting praise.  I have always struggled with this.  When I was named Principal of the Year, I really had a hard time accepting so many congratulatory comments and messages.  It was flattering to have that kind of attention but it was uncomfortable.  I participated in an interviewing exercise to get help with job interviewing skills.  The feedback from all three helping me was the same.  They had to tell me I was not speaking enough about me and that would not play well when being interviewed for a superintendent's position.  They were right.  I have found over the years that it is socially awkward for me to accept a compliment and I have yet to put a finger on why.  So I will attempt to here.

I think one reason that I don't take praise well is because it feel unnecessary.  A long time ago I made a personal and professional commitment to serve public school children.  I do this to the best of may ability every day.  Sometimes I'm a hero and sometimes I fall short.  The title of principal should and must always imply that we are here doing the best we can for the most students possible at all times.  I take this approach to my work because I understand that is required of me and my best is deserved by the students.  So when I get a compliment on how nice the building looks, I smile and thank them but that praise should not be directed towards me.  It is my job to make sure the kids have the best and cleanest facility that we can offer, so I do not expect praise for something I should already be doing.

So where should that praise go?  The school staff of course.  I'm happiest when others are getting credit.  I told a teacher a couple weeks ago that I felt like it is my job to provide the skeleton and their job to put meat on the bones.  While a crude example, this is true.  Anytime you visit a school building, it is a reflection of the staff most of the time.  A good school climate cannot be attributed to the principal alone.  Teachers and staff interact with the students each day and maintain the relationships that it takes to be a great school.  While I will accept your compliment, I will very likely shake it off and redirect you to the staff member that is the motivation behind the act or accomplishment.

While it is not my intention to be rude or not acknowledge the sometimes uncomfortable act of approaching the principal, I just want the credit to go where it belongs and it is usually not me.  So thank you, but let me direct your kind words to the people who get it the least and deserve it the most.