The Christian Principal - Forgiveness (Part 3)

Recently, Illinois schools entered the SB100 era of student discipline.  I was not happy with the process that took place for this new law to take effect but nevertheless we are now legally obligated to take a new approach to out of school suspensions.  Simply put, we now cannot suspend students for arbitrary reasons and we are encouraged to make restorative justice practices the norm in our schools.  This is not a transition for those of us who have been using restorative justice in our schools already.  Restorative justice in itself is  practicing a cornerstone of Christianity, forgiveness.

Any Christian knows this.  We are asked to forgive others as God has forgiven us.  To further the example think of the story of the unforgiving servant.  Jesus told the story of a king that wanted to settle the debts of his servants.  He showed mercy to one that owed a huge debt and forgave it.  That same servant went out and was not as kind to someone that owed him.  He began to choke him and demand payment for what was owed.  When the king found out that this man did not forgive someone after his act of forgiveness, he had him jailed and tortured until his debt was paid back.  The moral of the story is that God has forgiven the largest debt you will ever owe so you should forgive your neighbors in the same way.

I feel it is our job to not only forgive but to teach forgiveness.  There have been several times that I have forgiven a lunch detention or maybe even a day of ACR when the student makes an effort to repair the damages they have caused to property or people.  That's easy.  Teaching forgiveness is more difficult and it takes time and patience.  One day last week I spent an hour in my office with two young ladies that were on the verge of a physical fight.  I mediate these types of things lot.  It would be easy to dismiss them both as being disruptive and to punish them, but that rarely is the first or only step taken.  We first determine the facts of the situation, we then assign responsibility for each of their actions and then the fun part takes place.  We have a deep conversation on how we forgive each other and plan for the future.  Sure, some kids shrug it off just to get out of the office, but in some cases they cry, hug and apologize.  My goal is not to prevent a headache for me, it is to teach them how to forgive so we can avoid trouble in the future.

It may or may not be inappropriate to smile at sobbing students but these powerful moments are quite satisfying.  It gives you hope that they can forgive in the future just as God expects of us.  This is very difficult to explain to upset parents and for the sake of a greater conflict, I do not tell them that I am exercising my Christian beliefs to help their students.  I don't have to tell them that, I just have to behave as I am required to.  Even my holiest of parents will call seeking vengeance if they feel their child has been damaged and always take issue with me and my process.  Again, I will not apologize for it.  We are called to this work and if we are the Christians we say we are, then we must live out the word.

Not every administrator will be comfortable spending the time that I do to resolve conflicts.  If that's you, try one simple approach.  Every day is a blank slate for every kid.  That simple act of forgiveness on your part will be impactful enough.  Trust me, I know it can be difficult to do but it is worth it.  The last segment in this series is about the concept of being a servant leader and how it applies to Christianity.  The story of Joseph, the Earthly father of Jesus, will be the foundation of the post.