The Christian Principal - Forgiveness (Part 3)

Recently, Illinois schools entered the SB100 era of student discipline.  I was not happy with the process that took place for this new law to take effect but nevertheless we are now legally obligated to take a new approach to out of school suspensions.  Simply put, we now cannot suspend students for arbitrary reasons and we are encouraged to make restorative justice practices the norm in our schools.  This is not a transition for those of us who have been using restorative justice in our schools already.  Restorative justice in itself is  practicing a cornerstone of Christianity, forgiveness.

Any Christian knows this.  We are asked to forgive others as God has forgiven us.  To further the example think of the story of the unforgiving servant.  Jesus told the story of a king that wanted to settle the debts of his servants.  He showed mercy to one that owed a huge debt and forgave it.  That same servant went out and was not as kind to someone that owed him.  He began to choke him and demand payment for what was owed.  When the king found out that this man did not forgive someone after his act of forgiveness, he had him jailed and tortured until his debt was paid back.  The moral of the story is that God has forgiven the largest debt you will ever owe so you should forgive your neighbors in the same way.

I feel it is our job to not only forgive but to teach forgiveness.  There have been several times that I have forgiven a lunch detention or maybe even a day of ACR when the student makes an effort to repair the damages they have caused to property or people.  That's easy.  Teaching forgiveness is more difficult and it takes time and patience.  One day last week I spent an hour in my office with two young ladies that were on the verge of a physical fight.  I mediate these types of things lot.  It would be easy to dismiss them both as being disruptive and to punish them, but that rarely is the first or only step taken.  We first determine the facts of the situation, we then assign responsibility for each of their actions and then the fun part takes place.  We have a deep conversation on how we forgive each other and plan for the future.  Sure, some kids shrug it off just to get out of the office, but in some cases they cry, hug and apologize.  My goal is not to prevent a headache for me, it is to teach them how to forgive so we can avoid trouble in the future.

It may or may not be inappropriate to smile at sobbing students but these powerful moments are quite satisfying.  It gives you hope that they can forgive in the future just as God expects of us.  This is very difficult to explain to upset parents and for the sake of a greater conflict, I do not tell them that I am exercising my Christian beliefs to help their students.  I don't have to tell them that, I just have to behave as I am required to.  Even my holiest of parents will call seeking vengeance if they feel their child has been damaged and always take issue with me and my process.  Again, I will not apologize for it.  We are called to this work and if we are the Christians we say we are, then we must live out the word.

Not every administrator will be comfortable spending the time that I do to resolve conflicts.  If that's you, try one simple approach.  Every day is a blank slate for every kid.  That simple act of forgiveness on your part will be impactful enough.  Trust me, I know it can be difficult to do but it is worth it.  The last segment in this series is about the concept of being a servant leader and how it applies to Christianity.  The story of Joseph, the Earthly father of Jesus, will be the foundation of the post.

The Christian Principal - Compassion (Part 2)

Sometimes we feel that what our job requires of us is contrary to what we believe.  Many principals I speak to feel that their Christian values either do not belong in a school setting or are not welcome in a school setting.  The reality is that we probably are already setting a Christian example but we do not reveal it to others.  In this part of the series, I would like to look at the idea of compassion as not only a Christian value but also as a duty of the school principal who wants their leadership to reflect their beliefs.

My pastor directed me to the story of the Good Samaritan.  The story goes as follows.  A lawyer asks Jesus how to reach eternal life.  In that discussion the lawyer correctly answers that he must love his neighbor as himself.  He asked of Christ who is considered his neighbor and Jesus told this story.  A man was robbed and beaten within an inch of his life and left for dead.  A priest came upon him and moved to the other side of the road and went on by.  A Levite passed him by in the same way.  Then a Samaritan approached and took him up.  He dressed his wounds and put him in an inn to be cared for.  Jesus then asks the lawyer, which of these three was a neighbor to who.  The lawyer replied, "the one who had mercy on him."  The story highlights the idea that the priest and the Levite knew the law and customs but chose to live differently.  The Samaritan, who at the time were considered a lower class of people, ignored custom and did what was right.  He only saw a man in need, not his race or religion.

This is a great story to teach us that compassion outranks everything including our professional position.  The first two men might have been too afraid to help because of the way it might have looked or if it may have violated custom.  The Samaritan did not care.  This applies to us quite directly in that we should live out this part of our faith no matter what.  We all have kids hurting and struggling.  We can't simply walk by because we are afraid of the fallout or how it might look in the eyes of others.  It is our duty to God to show compassion and love these neighbors as we love ourselves.

Years ago I had a student that was a ward of the state and living in a shelter.  He had a troubled past and struggled in the school environment.  He was the typical at-risk kid that looked for love and acceptance in all the wrong ways.  He was constantly in trouble with his teachers and in detention and ACR on nearly a daily basis.  One time as he prepared to attack me, I had to take him to the floor (CPI method of course).  He had to be suspended because their are policies in place to protect staff and students.  Where I could show compassion is how I treated him regardless of his behavior.  I never kept score.  Everyday he would show up and I would greet him and joke with him like anybody else.  He was always confused by this.  One day he finally asked my why I was so nice to him when he was so bad to me.  My reply was, "that's just how I roll."  I'm sure he would have felt my real response would have been corny and awkward so I kept it simple.  He was moved out of that shelter a short while after that.  I am not sure where he landed.  The truth is that the principal's job is to keep the doors open and the lights on but the reality is we do a lot of healing too.  I have come to realize that helping kids like this gives the appearance that I ignore the "good" kids but doing my part to repair the broken is how I love my neighbor and honor God in my school building.  I will not ever apologize for it.

I'm sure there are many more examples of showing compassion in our daily routines.  What I am asking of you is to always be the good Samaritan.  Don't let doing what's right and just take a back seat to perception and stigma.  Kids are worth the risk.  In the next segment, I would like to look at how we use forgiveness in our profession to honor God.

I would like to thank all those who have given positive feedback to me since the first post in this series.  Disclaimer, I am in no way a Biblical scholar.  My goal is to open our eyes to living out faith while holding our title.  I hope it inspires someone.

The Christian Principal - Our Place in Public Education (Part 1)

My position can be very isolating at times.  I am a lone building principal without an assistant principal or other administrator for support.  That means there is a lot of information that I cannot discuss because of its sensitive nature.  You should not make personal friends with your staff so no blurred lines are created.  It can be frustrating and one of the most serious of topics never gets discussed.  Religion is side stepped a bunch and not because people in my community do not value it.  I think in most instances, people are scared to cross the dreaded line of separating church and state.  If they do, they run the risk of exposing beliefs that maybe are not shared or they may feel that they are ministering to those who do not welcome it.  For this series I want to shed some light on the relationship between education leaders and faith.  I am a Christian and I live out my faith every single day in front of the kids and do not mention a single Bible verse.

First off, yes there is separation of church and state.  That only means that you as a school administrator may not initiate, endorse or lead religious acts or rituals at school.  We are the "state" and cannot support religious activity.  We all went to graduate school and school prayer was covered in school law class.  While to me it is simple, many see this as a chilling climate to be a Christian or whatever you might be.  Others see it as that God is not welcome in schools and this is simply not true.  You can take your Bible to school, you just can't hit kids over the head with it.  Being a principal of faith is quite easy to do and I would like to explain how.

A central belief of ours should be that we are to show our faith though example.  Christianity is not signaled to others by the cross you might wear around your neck or the size of the Bible under your arm.  Your Christianity is evident in how you treat others.  You can be Christ-like in your position and you are very wise to do so.  My goal for the next three posts is to show other Christian administrators that it is okay to life out your faith and that your students will be better off if you do.  Faith does have a place in public education but it can't be an overt practice.  It has to be an unspoken level of conduct that honors God and supports kids.

In the next post I want to highlight how you can use and teach compassion as a way to honor our faith and glorify God.  If you incorporate this as a practice in your office and in your school building, you will not only be practicing a key Christian principle but you will also be creating better students.  I would like to encourage you to come along for the ride.

It would be a huge mistake to not thank Robbey Smith for his help exploring this topic.  Robbey is the Lead Pastor at Redemption Church in Johnston City, Illinois.  My family began attending Redemption a few years ago and it has been a wonderful experience.  It was easy to ask Robbey for his input because he embodies the leadership I hope to shed a light on in this series.

Take Healthy Risks

I am sending this blog post out to my students and any secondary student out there that happens to stumble upon it.

It is now October and much of my time has been spent helping students problem solve difficult situations.  These range from struggling in a class to struggling with other students.  After 16 years of teaching and working with junior high and high school students I finally have figured out what I wish my kids would do more of.  I want my kids to take more healthy risks when it comes to school and relationships.

It is normal for students in junior high and middle school to take many risks and push boundaries.  Often these are not healthy risks and they tend to do more harm than good.  So what is a healthy risk?  A healthy risk is one that has a positive upside no matter what the result.  A small example would be that time you gave up on an assignment because you didn’t know how to do it.  This can only have a negative result because you will not get a good grade on the assignment and you will hurt your overall grade in a class.  To take a healthy risk in this situation is to work at the assignment, even if you are confused.  Turning in that work communicates to the teacher that you need help.  Turning in no work sends an entirely wrong message.

Where I see the most unhealthy risks is in the social arena of school.  Making and keeping friends can be hard.  Finding where you fit in is hard too.  The reality is how you treat people is how you are remembered by these folks as you get older.  A good example of this could be whether or not to intervene when a fellow student is upset or struggling.  A frustrating discovery for me is that when something goes horribly wrong, I find out how many people knew about what was going on but no one stepped up to help or lend a hand.  I realize that it can be difficult to judge when it is appropriate to help but for a kid that is hurting, just asking if they are okay or how you can help goes a long way for them.  This is a healthy risk because you may gain a new friend or prevent something bad.  It may mean that they will return the favor down the road.

Take a look at what I consider to be healthy and unhealthy risks:

Healthy Positive Payoff	Unhealthy Negative Side Effects
Sit with someone new at lunch.	Helping to spread a rumor.
Compliment someone.	Dishonesty
Participate in an extra curricular sport or club.	Fighting
Give five minutes a day to help a student or teacher.	Making fun of someone or helping to make fun of someone.
Prevent an awkward situation for someone.	Use divisive words like “prep” and “skank”.

I ask all of you to RED every day - Resilient, Exceptional, and Dedicated.  This is easier to do than you think.  If you just put relationships first then you will be taking healthy risks and change the way you feel and how people see you.  Start taking risks today.  Healthy ones of course.