The American Landscape

I read an interesting article from the Washington Post recently about the numbers of minority babies and how they will impact our nation’s demographics. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/census-minority-babies-are-now-majority-in-united-states/2012/05/16/gIQA1WY8UU_story.html?tid=pm_local_pop)

The article points out that more than half of American babies under the age of one are non-white. It even goes on to state that non-white Hispanics in the country will be outnumbered by 2042. One of the biggest factors is the number of Mexican immigrants that are of child bearing years combined with an aging white population that are leaving their child bearing years. It immediately dawned on me that this is why Republicans are in favor of restrictive immigration policy but then I decided to play nice with this one.

My thinking is that it is 2012 and there are till people that refuse to accept other cultures and beleifs. I’m not just talking about white people either. If this article tells us anything, it tells us that we will soon not have a choice. This must start with our social institutions. Did you know that there are schools that still teach Latin? Right now we have ESL Programs (English as a Second Language) for Hispanics ans Asians to learn English, but what happens when English becomes the second language for a majority of the country?

This will definitely change parenting. I grew up in Marion and had the opportunity to have friends of different colors. I think this was the single contributing factor to my own open mind when it comes to understanding people. My daughter will not have that opportunity in West Frankfort where the population is predominately white. Its up to me to keep her from being dismissive of people she doesn’t understand.

The American landscape is changing quickly. Those who resist change will be miserable so I think I will keep my open mind and embrace my country, even if it begins to look a little different.

Wrong Direction

I recently had the pleasure of holding Honors Night at my school. It is a joy to tell a student that they have put in long term effort and reached their goals. This is the building of self esteem. Setting a goal and then guiding kids through the ups and downs of the journey to get there. It seems there is a new definition of self esteem.

I have often joked that this is the generation where everybody gets a trophy. There is this sense of entitlement that didn’t appear to exist just 20 years ago. Having a front row seat to this the past ten years has been challenging to me, not just as an educator but as a coach too. I will never fault the kids for this even if it is truly aggravating to be fair when they expect something different. This is a parent-created situation that is causing entire institutions to change to meet the needs of kids that were raised entirely different that I was.

Here are some things to think about parents:

If you have to change the rules so somebody’s feelings don’t get hurt, then you are going in the wrong direction.

If you think your kid didn’t get enough awards, then you are going in the wrong direction.

If you encourage your child to quit a team because they are not playing, then you are going in the wrong direction.

If you ask your child’s teacher for extra credit to fix a poor grade, then you already went in the wrong direction.

If you think your child deserves some recognition for something they should already be doing, then you’re going in the wrong direction.

If you defend you child’s poor behavior by arguing that it’s the other kid’s fault, you are going the wrong direction and you just might be blind. (I’ve had this one a few times)

These types of behaviors by parents can create problems for kids. They have significant struggles growing up (surely we all remember ours) and it hinders their abilities to make positive relationships with other kids. When they get to me, they tend to fail at making friends or treating the ones they have with any respect or loyalty. This is only one of the pitfalls of this kind of parenting. If you do the research, you will find the answer to this question. Be careful of what you read. Many “experts” are encouraging the promotion of self esteem, millennial style, not the promoting of good parenting. It can be frustrating to find people trying to take parents in the wrong direction. Just ask yourself, “what would my parents have done?” and you will probably have the right answer.

People That Don't Deserve It

What a week I’ve had. I found myself dealing with unreasonable parents this week. Don’t get me wrong, I have great families and parents who are kind to me and help the school when needed. They support their kids in the right way and believe in what we try to accomplish. I am very thankful for them. Somehow they took a break this week and I was left with those who I cant do anything right for.

At the beginning of the week I was made aware that one of our student’s mother was dying of cancer and had been in bad shape for a while. None of us had any idea this was going on. The teacher that told me this sprung into action, organizing support for this young lady and rallying the other teachers to her side. All during teacher appreciation week. A time where people should be showing support for teachers, and mine were working hard for this little girl. Thank you!

So let me just list the issues I spent my week on. No details, just a list.

Three students refusing to come to school and parent unwilling to make them.
Three separate issues of girl drama and rumors
A theft
A parent disagreement over academics and extra credit
A school bus bully
Scores of kids sent to the office
Arranging medical care for a child who’s parent was unwilling to do so

The amount of time I spent on these, and I’m sure other issues, was staggering. I usually didn’t even know what time it was during the day as I chipped away on these things. On Friday I finally got to check my mailbox. There was a note in there from the above mentioned teacher telling the staff that the mother of our struggling student was given 72 hours to live. Now I have written on this blog before that we very often fail to keep our eye on the ball. I and embarrassed to say that I didn’t. I failed to find one opportunity to speak to this young lady or offer some kind of support to her.

The problem is that this girl is the exact opposite of the issues above. She is a sweet kid that bothers no one. She comes everyday and does her job. She doesn’t play sports so she gets no attention outside of her closest friends. Folks, the problem with schools is not that we don’t teach the kids the right material or that we don’t teach them values, the problem is that we ignore the kids that matter the most. I did that this week and shame on me. I gave my time to people who don’t deserve it and sadly I am forced to do this almost daily. As the school year ends and I reflect on how I can be better, I will definitely keep my eye on the ball.

Not 20 Years Ago

I recently read a Facebook post called the new Pledge of Allegiance. It was a clever and lengthy rhyme about how schools are in trouble because religion is not allowed in schools anymore. To be honest, I was offended. Not because I feel religion doesn’t belong anywhere, but that lack of religion is the solution to everything. This seems to be the way of current political campaigns but I refuse to accept this for schools.

Its good to say that we need some sort of moral compass for our kids. I know that being active in your faith can provide that. The problem is that not enough kids are provided with any kind of moral compass whether it be religious or not. So many kids enter my doors each day without moral guidance and when that lack of morals is displayed, we make excuses.

Think about the state of American families today. Divorce is not only common place, it is considered normal. This was not the case 20 years ago. I was raised by my grandmother due to a lack of willingness to parent by my parents. Normal now but not 20 years ago. I can turn on just about any prime time television show tonight and hear the words damn, hell, ass, and bitch. Everything else is beeped out but you know what they’re are saying. This does not exclude the sexuality that surrounds these kids daily. Normal now but not 20 years ago.

I could tell you stories about the conduct of kids that would either make you mad or melt your heart. We don’t lack religion in schools, we lack families in schools. Schools haven’t changed, families have. Kids haven’t changed, families have. Rebuilding the American family should be our top priority, not adding religion in schools. If we roll back the clock to 20 years ago, religion will come back to schools and we wouldn’t have to post the Ten Commandments to do it.